I have a confession I'm embarrassed to admit: the calendar on my office wall is still set to January.
It's not a secret that I love being organized and having a good system. But unsurprisingly, one of the reasons I spend time creating strategies that work for me is that I actually need them! Especially when work gets crazy.
Wasn't it just New Year's Eve? I feel like I blinked and now we're months in.
Getting out of this mindset has meant recognizing that I have some un-helpful ideas about what this “Shiny New Year!” would look like that I need to bust through so I can have real, genuine fun in the mess, craziness, and beauty of everyday life.
So if you're feeling pressure of goals that are off to a wobbly start, or are still at the part where you haven't set goals for the year because you haven't made time, you're not alone – and there's help.
1. Get out of your head and get present!
When you're caught up in the story of how things should be or constantly running through what you're going to do later, it's easy to tune out of what you can do now that will get you a step closer to the life you want.
It's important for us to have time to dream, but your life takes is shaped entirely by your actions.
When you're living in your head instead of in the moment, it's easy to get distracted by things that don't matter, get derailed by your worries, and be less than present in your life. And who wants to live on autopilot?
How to practice mindfulness: Wherever you are, tune into the sights, sounds, and feelings you're experiencing at this very moment. Breathe deeply and slowly, and when you get caught up in your thoughts, catch yourself and guide your focus back to your senses (without beating yourself up!).
2. Get real with your calendar
It's draining to live when we aren't doing things we really love. If you think of the last day you spent running from commitment to commitment, and doing things that were on your “Things I Have to Do But Wish I Could Skip” list, chances are that day felt like a chore from the moment it started.
But even when you're seeing people you like and doing things you enjoy, you may not be investing time in the things that will get you closer to your goals. When you look at your calendar, does is reflect your priorities and highest goals for this year?
If not, you've absolutely got to get that under control!
Our habits are persistent, and how you've lived the last six weeks is likely to be how you live the next six weeks… unless you take action to change that.
How to give your calendar some tough love: Look at your commitments coming up over the next month – where do they line up with what you want the year to be about? What are you doing that you don't adore? Cancel what doesn't serve you (cancel, not reschedule!) and find a way to say no that you can marry yourself to. Your dreams will take time, so protect yours.
3. Schedule time to get big picture
There's a saying that “You can't work on your business when you're working in your business” and it's not just for business owners. If you're in a boat that's caught in a storm, that's not the time to discuss plans for next year's fishing season! You need to batten the hatches, take care of yourself, and get big picture once you're in safe harbor.
Unless you make time to reflect and reassess on your habits, what in your life feels great and what's just not working? You'll never reach that safe place where you can fine tune and adjust.
Because in life, the right time to reflect isn't a place you arrive at, it's a place you either create or sail straight past.
How to see the big picture when you're in the chaos: Make a recurring appointment with yourself to reassess and adjust – and then treat it like it's downright sacred. Every other week is a good frequency, because it's often enough that you're never going to have hours of work ahead of you, and it can become a natural routine instead of a dreaded task. And make sure you reward yourself for each session completed, and your commitment to having a life you adore!
4. Choose your battles & question your assumptions
We all have built in assumptions about how the world is and how we “need” to do things. If having a clean house feels like it's a life or death matter for you, then respect that instinct! But if you want to have a clean house, great meals on the table every day, a thrilling, frequently updated blog, a romantic adventurous life and fall into bed every night at 10 pm?
That's your inner rabid Martha Stewart telling you stories about how she would do things if she could possess your body and make you a “real good, worthy person” (Um… see how that just slipped out? She's crazy!). Her standards don't have to be yours, and they certainly aren't the way things have to be.
In our home, I've made peace with my dust bunnies and tame them weekly-ish. I meal plan, because a hungry Kyla will burn my house down, but I only cook a handful of nights a week. And my life feels so much better for it.
How to sneak a peek at the assumptions you might be holding: Is there a part of your life that feels exhausting and uphill? Think about that problem, and tack on “because…”. Write it out, and see what conditions you're filling in the blank with. Then ask yourself, “Is this really, completely true? What could I do differently so this fits my life better?”. Experiment with different strategies and priorities, and see what feels right for you.
This is my game plan, at least!
How are you making sure this year is unforgettable, without making goal setting your part time job?
LAST UPDATED ON: February 27th, 2014
CATEGORY: All Business & Blogging Posts
Fantastic post!!! Exactly what I needed to hear. Your suggestions on getting back on track are great. I definitely pick on myself for not living up to how I think things should be. I’m trying to be more mindful and let myself take things more slowly. Great advice :)
Picking on yourself is such a hard habit to break, I’ve been there. I actually used to beat myself up even more when I noticed that I was beating myself up! lol So counter productive! Being mindful about it is the first step toward being able to let that go a little more. Keep it up, Courtney!
These tips are so great. I took my shop full time about a month ago and am definitely going to put these to work, especially that first one. I often find that I get stuck inside my own head, thinking and planning but not actually doing. Thanks for this!
Congratulations on going full time with your shop, that’s be such an exciting time! I love planning, but it can absolutely take over as a safer alternative to taking action. Small steps taken over time add up to an amazing big picture. You’ve got this, just keep stepping out of planning and into doing!
Yes to number 3. So often life seems to run away from me. But if I take a break, grab a notebook and just allow time for my mind to wander without distraction I find I can reassess what I’m doing as a whole.
I just did that this weekend, Elizabeth. It’s something I’m trying to do throughout the week instead of just on the weekend (or every few weekends!). Thanks for commenting, I hope you make time for yourself in the coming week!
This was the best reassurance! I was already slow getting to my new year’s goal setting, but since life happened in February it means I am still trying to finish my goal-setting series on the blog. Now is truly better than never though, 10 months is a long time :)
Thanks for this post Kyla, I feel like this was just what I needed to read (especially as it dawned on me a couple of days ago that we’re nearly 1/4 way through the year!!).
Slightly embarrassing confession: I read the post, saw your awesome widget at the bottom where you can rank, clicked on it (cause I thought it would take me to the widget page), and then realised I had rated it “Meh.” I can’t seem to change it so I just want you to know that it’s definitely not meh, you don’t have some kind of inspirational-post-bashing troll, and I LOVED it :)
Aw! Hannah you are the sweetest! Thanks for letting me know that this post hit home. Your misclick wouldn’t have worried me, but it makes me wish I could give you a big hug through the internet. You’re too fabulous. Thanks for reading :)
Thank you for this post! I’ve been feeling totally scattered over the last week, and realized it was because of EXACTLY what you’re talking about. I absolutely love #1 – it’s so important to be present in the moment, and I get SO caught up on what I “should” be doing, instead of concentrating on what I AM doing.
I needed this so badly right now. thank you for sharing!
Gahhh this year. One day I’ll have everything together!
Thank you so much for this effective reminder!
Better to reel it in in February than realize in June that half the year is gone.
Loving #4 – I couldn’t agree more! I find myself saying “F-it!” more often lately because I’d rather catch an extra hour of sleep than stay up trying to figure out how to set up a new system to make my online life easier — silly, right?
Thanks for sharing all of these, I think it’s the perfect time to post something like this.
Kyla, it’s truly amazing how you seem to know exactly what I need exactly when I need it most. Perhaps I’m not as alone as I sometimes think I am!
Thank you, as always, for the inspiration and motivation. <3
You’re not alone at all, Mandy! This month flew by for me, and I know I have to put some serious practices in place if I want March to be different. The biggest piece for me is time to reflect. I originally thought I’d sit down once a month and look at what’s working for me and what’s not… and I ended up not doing that for February because it became a huge event in my mind. I’d love to hear what you’re going to try out to turn things around :)
I’m not quite sure yet, but I know I need to actually take the time to figure it out. That’s the first step, I suppose. :)
Such a helpful post, Kyla! I needed to read this,like, today.
Thanks for reading, Sarah! :)
I feel like you wrote this just for me! I should give myself a break, since I’ve been on holidays since mid-January, but I definitely feel like my goals are completely overwhelming and I have no way to reach them. And I totally have an inner Martha Stewart…I’m convinced that if I just stuck to my schedule, all my goals would be met, my house would be spotless, and I’d be the best girlfriend ever! It’s hard to let go of that quest for perfection sometimes, but of course one never measures up.
Thanks for the inspiration.
Thanks Holli! Having big dreams is a blessing and a curse – just make sure you break your goals down into the bite sized, step by step pieces that will get you to that bigger picture. Even just to part of it! Small steps over time add up in huge ways that we really underestimate. You’ll get there!
Oh, so much #1. January was a highly productive month, but February has just sucked the big one. Thanks for sharing, this is exactly what I needed! xo
I’m glad it came at the right time, Courtney! It sounds like it’s been a weird month for a lot of people – but that doesn’t mean we can’t show the year who’s boss!