Around the internet lately there's been an amazing youtube project called It Gets Better that's been getting all kinds of well deserved attention. In the past months there has been increasing media coverage of teenage suicides that were the direct result of LGBT youth being targeted, teased and bullied past a point where they wanted to live. It Gets Better is a way for LGBT adults to bypass the red tape and speak directly to teens who are struggling, to encourage them to stay with us.
I think anyone who has been a teenager struggling to fit in knows how difficult those years can be, even in the best of situations. I have friends who are gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered, and trying to fathom the added stresses of trying to navigate normal teenage life while trying to understand your sexuality, avoid bullies, figure out how and when to come out, and confronting hate head on? It makes my head spin, especially so after seeing it in person.
Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks & Other Outlaws is an amazing book that I would wholeheartedly recommend to anyone who is struggling with being on the outside, no matter your age. It's a thoroughly bad ass self help book- witty and quirky, matter of fact and encouraging, with 101 suggestions for getting through life while living outside of the box.
It specifically addresses the author's own experience as a transgendered person, has a whole section dedicated to understanding and navigating bullies, and then moves on to suggestions on how to get by when you're having trouble getting up in the morning. Everything from well accepted strategies (seeing a therapist, talking with a friend, seeking medical attention) to the author's own suggestions: make believe, defy prophecy, be your own evil twin & get laid. And even better, they're ranked in order of safety, efficacy & moral concern.
The message of the book is simple:
You should do anything it takes to make your life worth living- just don't be mean. That's the only rule you ever need to follow to make sure that your life is going to get better.
All I can say is here here! Thank goodness for the outsiders, weirdos, geeks, and lawbreakers. They make us better, braver and, most importantly, kinder people. And they're some of my best friends. <3
Want more of It Gets Better?
Watch my friend Ben & Rachel's vlogs, watch Ellen's call to action, Like It Gets Better on Facebook or read Dan Savage's column that started the project.
LAST UPDATED ON: October 8th, 2010
CATEGORY: All Business & Blogging Posts
Yes, yes, yes! Bullies are mean, awful people. I firmly believe that all people should adopt the motto of Key West: “We are all equal members of one human family.” I know that’s an idealistic wish, so in the meantime I strive to let everyone on the outside know they are not alone. Someone will listen, someone wants to help. If you can’t find that someone, call me, I’ll listen.
I’ve been heartbroken by the number of recent suicides as well, and I get what you’re saying, but…I spent a couple of hours last week at an event with some people on my campus talking about these issues and the “It gets better” campaign was brought up. I’d never heard of it before, but I’m not sure what I think – I heard someone say that the campaign shouldn’t be “it gets better,” but “we need to make it better.”
I definitely agree. It of course gets better for some people, but for plenty of others, it doesn’t. Plenty of people don’t recover from the stuff they experienced when they were younger because they have no outlet.
Just a thought.
thanks for that, kyla, from a fellow canadian. i’ve been a fan of ellen’s a long time and when i saw her message it broke my heart. thanks for bringing attention to this very important cause. *hugs*
Thank you so much, Kyla for bringing much needed attention to this situation. Now, more than ever, we all need to learn to respect, and accept, one another. After the unfortunate incident that transpired at the end of September involving a gay student at Rutgers, I’ve had a heavy heart. But those individuals, like yourself, who speak out in favor of supporting one another can help even one person to know they are not alone. <3
That sounds like such a great book! I wish I had known about it when I was in high school! I’m loving this ‘It Gets Better’ initiative. When people like NPH and Tim Gunn are getting on board and admitting their painful pasts hopefully people will listen. I’ll definitely be picking up a copy of this book to read and share with students that I advise. Thanks for recommending it!
-Samantha
http://sincerelysamantha.com
hooray! thanks for posting this kyla! this is a super important cause to me. <3
Yeah, why can’t we just all get along?
Thanks for recommending this book. I am very intrigued.
What an interesting book! What great advice! JUST BE NICE! the world would be a better place!
The best way to begin to deal with a difficult issue is to acknowledge it and air it out a bit, so it’s really fantastic that those videos and now this book are beginning to do so. Great post!
We can always, always be kinder. Thanks for the reminder on this Friday morning. I’m going to try to pick up that book before Hawaii–sounds like a must-read.
Thanks for sharing this Kyla. As a family member of someone who suffered with severe depression during high school, not related to sexual orientation, but just being a teenager in general. All of these news stories have been hitting a little too close to home. Luckily for my family, we were able to help said person through the dark times, but it wasn’t easy. I hope this book is able to help other struggling families.
What a wonderful addition to the amazing videos that are hitting the internet daily. You are a gem for finding and sharing this book!
Seth’s story breaks my heart. I’m so glad people are speaking up about this, and the book looks great. I hadn’t heard of it. I LOVE this blog post.
I’m curious about this book indeed; thanks for sharing. And for using your web presence to speak up and out!
All of this bullying is incredibly saddening and I really wish people would take heed of the old adage “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
This is such an amazing and wonderful project. It makes me want to cry when I hear of another teen suicide because of being bullied and tormented about being gay. I though we were better then this. It breaks my heart.
This is a great project! Every time I hear of a teen committing suicide over the fact they were tormented over their sexuality, it breaks my heart. I hope this can raise some awareness to the situation.
thanks for this post. i have been so moved by the it gets better project. since i know you love food i think you’ll like this one – it’s one of my favorites: http://www.amateurgourmet.com/2010/10/it_gets_better_cooking_for_my_boyfriend.html