For me, waiting has always been the hardest part. The days before a trip or moving into a new apartment could never fly by fast enough for me. Patience isn't my strength. I'm comfortable living in a place of enthusiasm, details, discussion, decisions and checking things off my list. Waiting is a land of tumbleweeds and stark beauty, and it takes effort to appreciate it and be comfortable there.
Freckled Nest Design is moving to a new studio at the end of May. It doesn't seem possible that we've been in our current place long enough to be moving- it's been a year and a half already! It's strange to know that something so big is about to change, and that soon this place won't be ours any more. I'm excited for the possibilities of the new space- it's closer to home so I can walk to work, we'll ride our cruiser bikes to get lunch and ice cream, we can have our dogs at the office (puppy party!), and there's central heating & cooling included in our rent! Buy stock in dresses, friends. Winter won't stop me anymore.
I've done in-betweens before, all kinds of them. The space between Jesse and I being engaged and married, being in-between jobs, and being in-between places of certainty. At each of these times before, everything felt incredibly uncertain- like only luck would bring me back to stable ground. What I've noticed in the past few years is that the in-betweens are getting easier, and are feeling more familiar. Right now, before we move, instead of planning and worrying like I would have a few years ago, I'm just excited for the changes that are coming soon, and in the mean time I want to take photos in the place we started, make more memories of good times here and appreciate the strong foundation it's been for the first year of Leigh-Ann and I making Freckled Nest into something we build together.
With my birthday coming up at the end of May, I'm wondering if this new ability to worry less and trust more is something I picked up without noticing as I'm leaving my early & mid twenties behind. But even if it just turns out to be from a lack of caffeine, I'm grateful for the calm.
So in this in-between, I'm sticking to the simple things that ground me the most. Keeping fresh juicy fruit and soft sourdough bread in the kitchen, making fizzy drinks in mason jars, spending time with people who love me without tying strings to their love, and my favourite books. And trashy television, for when the moment's right, which it almost always is.
My theory is that the more I appreciate the simple things, the more they'll buoy me so I can stay wide eyed and thankful until I can dig into the packing, planning & list making that I know and love so well.
LAST UPDATED ON: May 2nd, 2012
CATEGORY: All Posts
Kyla, you have an amazing way with words. Love this post. Thank you for the reminder of how life giving the simple things can be. <3
Thank you for this post! I am in an “in-between” right now – but I hadn’t named it that, just kept wondering why I felt a bit out-of-sorts and not quite myself. Always so good to know someone else has had the same experience. Take care!
Thank you for posting about real life. It is completely refreshing from the usual ‘blog world’ stuff…I really look forward to your future and your posts Kyla!
I’m stuck in the in-between right now. In between schools, in between jobs, in between living, looking, and moving (planning to move in August but it’s too early to look!).
I’m finding solace in my iced lattes and dreaming big.
I also struggle so much with patience and in-betweens to the point that I drive myself crazy. Thanks for reminding me how important the simple things are. As per usual you are super inspiring;)
I so relate to this. I love dreaming up new possibilities and moving forward – waiting is not my strong suit. I, too, have been working to enjoy all the everyday adventures and really live in the moment, instead of the dreamed up future. Thanks for the reminder to stay present and enjoy.
I’m currently in the middle of multiple in-betweens (getting married in June, quit my job a month ago, moving sometime this year, though we don’t know when) and the anxiety I’ve been going through has been severe. I too have anxiety issues. But after stumbling upon your blog and seeing how far you’ve come and the clarity you’ve found, I use it as my motivation. When the times get tough, I just ask myself “What would Kyla do?” <3
Keeo on trekking and good luck during all these exciting new changes!
beautiful post! thats great, i’m still suffering the anxiety before change or trips and as i get older i deal with it better.
that sourdough seems lovely :)
I know exactly how you feel! The last two months of waiting for our new house to be built were sheer TORTURE. We were living with a friend at the time and I spent hours upon hours planning the meals I was going to cook in our new kitchen, how I was going to decorate (Every. Single. Room), what we would do in the garden (which measures a tiny 3 metres by 10 metres, but was going to contain a paved area with a seat, a small veggie and herb garden, a bird-friendly native garden, lawn… you know, just the basics :p )
Even just this week, I’m so excited about our upcoming trip to Melbourne that I can’t stop planning what I’m going to wear, where we’ll have coffee, what we’ll see…
I swear, I’m not actually an obsessed lunatic, just impatient.
Oh how I wish I could be better at living with uncertainty. Great post. Glad you’re finding your inner calm.
Oh, I know the feelings you’re talking about so well — and the further I get away from my 20s, the more I realize how often I felt that way (and how exhausting it was). I’m 35 now and I still experience that familiar unsettled feeling from time to time, but OH, the RELIEF of entering my 30s, when suddenly I felt like I was right where I was supposed to be, no matter where I was or what I was doing. Turns out getting older is actually pretty awesome, despite what we are led to believe.
What a relief to know that the stakes aren’t as high and things aren’t as dire as they felt like a few years ago! I recently re-read some of my journals from when I was a teenager and they absolutely baffled me because the reaction I had to such little things was so huge. Even in the past two years I’ve noticed a huge change in how I deal with stress and conflict, along with trickier things like waiting and patience. Hopefully we just keep getting better at all this life stuff as we go ;)
I have a hard time with in-betweens, too. It’s difficult to feel sort of stuck. I like plans and certainty, as opposed to those moments where you feel like you’re on that first steep incline of the roller coaster, just waiting to go down and start the ride.
This post is beautiful.
Oh lord, that incline… just the mention of it gives me shivers!
Thank you for the sweet praise- as one of my all time, long time favourite bloggers & writers it means a lot :)
I love this post – I do think you get better able to deal with changes, the more often you go through them; you learn that there’s not much you can’t deal with along the way. Best of luck for the move and for all your future plans.
i’m really loving this post- it’s so difficult for a lot of people [myself included] to feel okay with time in between. i’m always waiting for what’s next or for the other shoe to drop. nothing ever feels permanent, and i think i need to just be content with what happens now.
What a beautifully written post :) I’m excited for your big move for you!
Thanks so much, Holly! It was so fun to write this, and it’s the first time in a while that I’ve let the writing process actually be fun for me. I’m liking returning to my wordy blog roots :)
And your avatar always makes me smile- what a beautiful moment <3
I think I let out an audible sigh at the end of this post, so beautifully written. And just hearing about your calm made my shoulders relax a bit.
Catherine Denton
I’m excited for you to see your new place. How great it will be to take those lunch bike rides. I wish I could join in that part. I hope we’ll still see eachother lots. I’ll visit with Eve in the summer time – promise to make an appointment so we can go out and have a little fun.
xoxo
That sounds so lovely- and we’ll definitely still see each other lots! I mean, just think of all the sangria that will need a home this summer ;)