A while ago I did a Q & A post, and every few weeks I’m answering some of the questions you guys asked :)

Now that its been a year, how are your wallpapered cupboards holding up? Do the wash well? Any tips or tircks? I love the idea for my own kitchen, which has the same fugly melamine cabinets. from Paige

Back story: Last year I did a fast, cheap & pretty little makeover on my kitchen cabinets that was featured on Design*Sponge, and part of it involved wallpapering over our basic melamine cabinets (see it here).

One year later it’s holding up up great, but I do have a couple of tips. I waited a long time to seal them, and in that time a couple started to peel back at the corners. I re-did those panels, and when they dried I mod podged them, and since then they’ve been perfect. They wash well & while it means I’ve committed us to them, it’s such a cute feature of the kitchen that I can’t imagine them another way.

Cheesy maybe, but, what’s your favorite movie? from Lisa

Hands down, the original Grey Gardens documentary. It’s such a beautiful portrait of not just Big Edie & Little Edie, but also of aging women and those weird and fantastic family relationships. I love Little Edie’s fashion sense (big surprise!) and her spirit. It’s all so delicately handled and crazy, if you haven’t seen it I would really recommend it.

What are your quirkiest habits and how do they mesh with your husband’s? from Her New Deal

My quirkiest habits all come from how right brained I am. I’m awesome at spatial things, going by instinct & inventing solutions to problems, but I lose my car in a parking lot & have trouble remembering things without writing them down. And I’m thoroughly silly. I’m always coming up with word games and rhyming things, and bouncing crazy ideas off of Mister.

Mister is my polar opposite in terms of how I approach things. He’s playful and relaxed, but he’s still very black and white, logical, and linear. He’s good at things that require lots of math or memory, and that get done fast. It makes us a great team, we balance out :)

I love how open and honest you are in your posts, but do you ever struggle with how much to share on your blog? How do you decide what to share? Any advice for how to be open without feeling like you’re sharing too much? from Caiti

I think the line is different for everyone, but for me it comes down to walking the line between what’s personal versus what’s private. For me, personal things are what I’m doing, my reactions to things in my life, my plans, projects & inspiration. Anything that I get a “Oh I have to tell this to a friend!” feeling about. Private things are the intricacies of my marriage & family, and my friendships.

Mostly, I decide what to share based on what story I’m telling. If I have a post written but have a ”Hm, I don’t know…” or “I hope _____ doesn’t read this” feeling, to me that’s a marker of a weak story or something that would be better for an e-mail to a friend. I want this to be a space that’s fun, inspiring & that draws people in – anything that doesn’t hit that mark doesn’t get published, because it’s probably not that interesting in the grand scheme of things! :)

Even though your hair is super cute short do you ever think about growing it out and wearing it long? from Iris Ashley

Actually, I’m currently growing it out! I’m posting a picture a week here & I’m aiming for a sleek (much less thick) bob. As for growing it out really long, I feel like it makes me look really young. Maybe in a while, but for now I’m sticking with shoulder length & above.

Need more answers? Find volume one here

New Rules:

- Crocheting is fun, but knitting is still on top for now

- Popsicles are a summer food group

- As summer baking that doesn’t overheat the house, tarts are now mandatory

- When Mister suggests that we rearrange all the rooms on the second floor so we have a small little bedroom and a huge giant craft room, don’t ask questions. Just go with it.

- Dream big and out loud, and smile when people don’t get it. There’s no rule that says they have to :)

What are the summer rules you’re living by?

ps – sorry for the short post, we rearranged our entire upstairs this weekend and it was a crazy job! I’ll be back soon with more :)

Thanks so much for your great questions! I realized that without meaning to I’ve definitely missed some major points- here’s the first round of answers to fill in the gaps…

Would you and Mister ever consider moving stateside? If so, to which state? from Nora &

If I’m not mistaken, Mister is from Minnesota. Would you two ever consider leaving Canada for your southern neighbor? If so, what would it take to get you here? from Nilsa

Mister is actually a dual citizen because his mom is American, but he has never lived in the US. But being a dual citizen he has a social security number and could move over at any time, and when we started dating we seriously considered moving to Minneapolis.

We really love Canada, and it would take a lot for me to leave. But the main issue with immigrating is that if we did move it wouldn’t be like I was marrying an American who was already established, we would both be starting completely from scratch. Neither of us would have a credit score, credit history, employment history, drivers record, references from previous landlords, or anything.

We have a great life here, and if we moved it would take us many years to get our feet back under us. It’s just not right for us, but I’m fascinated by the US and I love visiting every year.

Do you cuss? from Steph Anne

Yep! Maybe not as much as I used to when I was hanging out with theatre people all the time, but I tend to use the word “like” and any range of curses interchangeably a lot of the time without realizing it lol

What do you do for work? from Liz, Chanel & Skinny Dip

Up until last year I was working in entertainment marketing (music & theatre), but after working in entertainment since I was 16 I was really worn out from all the low pay and mandatory shows after long days. I decided to leave the industry  and went back to school part time and started working part time. My part time job is as an administrative assistant in the financial / insurance industry.

My day job is dry, but I have amazing flexibility. I work mornings with a (generally) really positive team of people and in the afternoons and evenings I work on my creative projects and my freelance work. It means many very long days every week but I love being busy, and I feel like I’m really in my element. I was in school all last year & I’m currently deciding what to do about my courses for the next year – I’m undecided about how they fit into my life right now that I’m not scrambling for a job & direction like I was last summer.

When I’m not at work I’m working on my dream of having my design work & (eventually) my etsy shop become my full time job. It’s going to take time and planning, but I’m really excited to make it happen. It’s my biggest dream :)

What’s your stance on true love & soul mates? from Nora

I really don’t like the idea that there’s only one person out there for you, and if you don’t meet them you’re out of luck. My experience of the world isn’t nearly so straight forward, and I don’t like the idea that we’re all on one narrative track. The world is full of so much mystery, I think it has much more interesting stories up its sleeves for us than that.

(Yes, the universe definitely has sleeves.)

To me, a more exciting and grounded idea is that there are a whole range of people out there, scores of them even, who would make all of us happy. The idea is to narrow that down to the person you’re most fascinated by, and who you can really help and grow with. That puts the romance in the choice to be together and in making a happy life together, that sounds like much more fun to me!

What’s your favourite band or musician? What’s on your workout playlist? from Diana

Such a tough question! Some of my favourites are The Hold Steady, The Weakerthans, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Sleigh Bells, Tilly & The Wall, The Mars Volta, Air, Caribou, Jimmy Eat World, The Decemberists, Bon Iver, She & Him, Johnny Lang, Dylan, The Rolling Stones, Morrissey & Otis Redding… I’m kind of all over the place!

For working out right now I’m addicted to “Hurricane J” By The Hold Steady:

& “Kids” by Sleigh Bells:

I’ll keep answering questions until I’m out of them, but if you have any more add them in the comments :)

Mount Rushmore – isn’t it majestic?

Veggie Burger #298745

(parts of the midwest are slightly dismal for vegetarians)

The Mountains

A birthday brewery visit

Pike Place in Seattle

An elusive West Coast blogger in her native habitat

A nighttime skytrain ride

We’re in Calgary now and are starting to get ready to make the last leg of the journey home to sweet, homey old Winnipeg just in time for us to scoop up the puppies from family before the weekend ends.

For now, I’m tired, happy and I don’t want this to be over. I can’t tell you how wonderful it’s been… but I’ll certainly try.

Talk soon, sparrows!

I don’t know when it happened, but something changed in me this year. Over the winter, in the thick of school and worry (and probably mid-cup of tea) it hit me: if not now, when? It sounds corny, but after a year of plans falling through, it was like being hit by lightening- I have to stop planning and start doing. I have to find the energy inside myself to stay positive and charged up, all the time, and I have to do it like my whole life is at stake.

It sounds dramatic, right? But this is my reasoning: if all we have is what’s happening right now? Then in every decision, my whole life is at stake. And in that case, I want to be paying attention and going to bed tired because I’ve given everything I can. I want to make this life joyful and creative, and I want it to count. I have to start now - if not now, when?

So after a lot of thinking this is my birthday list. It’s big, it’s beautiful, and it’s all mine.

This year I will…

Start a real, official business and open up shop on etsy. I’ve filed all the government paperwork for this, but it won’t feel real to me until I see the cheques with my company name on them (which I’m so excited for!). I’ve been dreaming of different product lines all spring, I’m in the final stages of logo design with an amazing illustrator and this summer I’ll have lots to show you!

Be passionate, determined and single-minded. Working on Four Little Pots and doing more freelance work in the spring taught me an incredible amount about how much I can get done when I focus in and refuse to let anything shake me. Working on projects that I love energizes me. I’m aching for long work days and glue on my fingers, and I’m excited to dive in.

Get involved in the local scene. There are wonderful meet up groups, knitting clubs, yoga studios, and craft mafias where I live… and I need to get out there. The idea of making more friends who share my interests makes me really happy- I want to build a fantastic circle of local friends to complement my girls who are far and wide.

Remember my passions & invest in them. I have so many interests that have fallen by the wayside since university: city planning, religion, history, cheesy sci-fi, film noir, theatre, real literature – these all make up part of who I am and they surface in wonderful ways. I need to keep exploring, no matter what my main focus is.

Make lots of time to play with Mister. Because he’s amazing. I never imagined that another person could be so fundamental to my whole life, I never even imagined that marriage could change me, and yet here I am. Loved & fed & kept up to date on movies, American holidays, and state of the art puppy wrangling techniques. I want us to have more good food, belly laughs, field trips and adventures together, just to be gratuitous about the whole love thing.

Love this little blog! Connecting with you in this place makes me so happy, it’s one my most rewarding projects. I am so proud of what it has become! Making friends and learning the ropes of blogging has been an amazing journey so far. I want to keep making this space more and more me, and I can’t wait to see where that will take it.

Stay present. A lot of the time I get caught up in spinning narratives for myself – about anything from work to friends – and more often than not it ends up causing me to get stressed out and vacate what’s actually going on in this very moment. I’m working on living more intentionally and being slightly less day dreamy. Just slightly.

Stretch. I want to grow my comfort zone by challenging myself- this can be anything from starting to volunteer to getting a table at a craft show, or going to a professional development workshop. I want to stamp out the little voice that suggests I count my self out and tune into the one that wants to deliver above and beyond expectations.

Stay focused, work hard, and pay attention to the positive thoughts. Because the alternative really isn’t an alternative.

{Like the idea of a birthday list? Check out  Sandy’s & consider making your own!}

1. I’ve never eaten a kiwi. Growing up, we weren’t a kiwi family and somehow I just never tasted one! Every time I’m in the grocery store I stare them down, wondering “Is today the day?” and it never is.

2. I haven’t been out to the bar since I was nineteen. We have a fairly small club scene here, and while I loved going out dancing when I wasn’t supposed to be in the bars (I had a fake ID when I was 17!) the attraction really wore off when I got a little older. I love going out for drinks and appetizers with friends, but sometime this year I’m going to steal out into the night and go dancing.

3. I have odd crushes. Case and point: Macaulay Culkin & Philip Seymour Hoffman. I have normal ones too, but if I’m honest most of the boys I like are a little awkward & full of character.

4. I swear like I was raised by forty year old men, because I was. I started working on the production side of theatre when I was fifteen, and I spent my summers volunteering full time (until I could legitimately work) with the local fringe festival. I basically got to be a feral teenager for a long time, and I have an incredible group of adopted older brothers I get to see every summer because of it. When I’m not at work I tend to accidentally punctuate my sentences with “salty” phrases without thinking about it.

5. I have a terribly selective memory. I tend to forget names, places, the bad times, my multiplication tables, and that people in America have different holidays & long weekends… but I have instincts that are reliable enough to trust and I’m quick to pick things up on the fly so it balances out!

Do you have a Friday secret?

I pinky swear it’ll be just between us.

]]> http://www.kylaroma.com/2010/05/secretfriday/feed/ 128 http://www.kylaroma.com/2010/05/grey/ http://www.kylaroma.com/2010/05/grey/#comments Mon, 10 May 2010 11:00:19 +0000 Kyla Roma http://www.kylaroma.com/?p=3825

Looking back at the past year, a lot of the time it felt like losing. On my twenty fourth birthday I was sure I had it all laid out and decided – I was working in the music industry doing real work! Design! Media buying! Mister and I didn’t have to deal with a wedding or moving, we would just get to enjoy what we’d worked for. I was sure that the year was going to be my victory lap.

I think in hindsight, I might have been begging to be humbled.

Twenty Four has been such a jumble that even close to the end, I still can’t decide what to make of it. But while I’ve been locked in trying to figure it out there’s been a little seed of wisdom, curled up like a sleeping cat on the corner of my bed. And when I focus in it reminds me that this year hasn’t been good or bad. The realization spreads into a smile- this year has been a lot of grey area, but it has been beautiful.

Twenty Four taught me to be active when faced with fears. As a planner, nothing is scarier than watching your plans fall through, and for part of the year I froze. My dream job turned into a nightmare, young family friends passed away, I was buried in school and having trouble managing everything. I could have reassessed and rallied my troops, but instead I rationalized what was going on, convinced myself it would improve with time, and ignored what my heart was telling me I needed: action that would lead to peace, quiet, and time to heal up. But I didn’t feel brave enough it take it on. I didn’t change the things that weren’t working, I heaped school work on my desk, stayed quiet and worried myself sick. But all year, the only time anything changed for the better was when, in some small way, I took action. It took a long time to get it through my head, but I’ve got it: I’m the only one who can steer my ship, and if I’m asleep at the wheel or focusing on feeling lost I won’t end up where I want to be.

Twenty Four showed me grace and forced perspective. Through the winter, there’s been a lot of loss around my family. Young friends have passed away, older friends have had lost their health, deals have fallen through and job stability hasn’t been around. We’ve even lost two horses in six months. While I’ve been working through things that feel really big, I’ve watched my Dad reckoning with things that are really big…and his response has been to put most of his time into people who need him. He spends time every day with a single friend’s son, so the little guy has a father figure. He’s been helping his friends get healthy, and supporting his friends who are mourning. It’s been amazing to see what focusing on others looks like day to day, and it makes me want to be that kind of person.

Twenty Four helped me abandon perfect because it paralyses you. Perfect ignores that working from your beautiful, imperfect strengths leads you to an effortless place. Perfect doesn’t want a journey, it wants a hero’s welcome and control. When I get too hung up on details and plans I can slip into this mentality… and it misses the point of who I am. I’m not neat and tidy, and I’m not interested in refining the personality out of who I am. I’m interested in responding from my heart, with kindness, and with enthusiasm.

This year, I feel like I’m finally starting get it.

The jumps where I didn’t nearly execute the landing aren’t about rehearsing until I get it right, they’re about choosing my time, finding great people to do it with and then leaping out off the edge with style and abandon. The bad things that happen aren’t about what I deserve and the good things aren’t about what I’m owed, they’re dips and twirls in the dance, and the moments when I feel connected and loved? They’re about memory and hope.

There’s a beautiful story about Charlie Chaplin when he was developing his tramp character. He was working with a troupe of actors and in the middle of furious slapstick rehearsals his mentor would should out to them:

“Keep it wistful gentlemen, keep it wistful!”

Reminding them not to forget the sweetness and the wonder, even in the middle of that precise and wild abandon.

In the middle of all this, the good and the bad, and whatever next year brings my way I’m going to work hard to keep it wistful. I want the wonder to come as easily as breathing, I want to be wholly myself, and I want to work incredibly hard to will everything I have in my heart into existence.

May 23rd? It’s been a long year, but I’m finally ready for twenty five.

After a tiring winter I’ve been really excited for the spring. I’ve been in need of happy, and I’ve taken to kind of trying to wring it out of every day- so I thought that I might share a few things that have been working for me that might fit into your weekend plans…

1. Make the first move. There is no faster way to feel loved than to be someone who gives their love out freely. Throughout the week I make a point of sending my family and friends little e-mails and text messages that remind them that they mean a lot to me, and their responses always make my day better too.

2. Go on a retreat. I tend to be overly plugged in and live a little in my head, so about once a month I declare the weekend to be a Homebody Retreat. For me that means staying in, reading books, checking my e-mail only once a day, and making things with my hands. It’s my way of making sure I’m getting what I need. A retreat can be a weekend framed all around sports, being out with friends, or volunteering- but setting aside big chunks of time to put into what you love is priceless.

3. Take yourself on a date. Have lunch alone, hit a matinee, or just pop some tea in a thermos, grab a book and find a sunbeam out in the world. Quiet time is wonderful for recharging your batteries.

4. Make a finished product. One thing I miss about working in theatre is having a Big Finished Product every few months, complete with opening night party and applause. In most modern jobs you get to push away at corners of things, but a finished product is not part of the equation. Finished doesn’t even really apply to blogging! For me, reading, photography, and sewing are ways I can look at something and feel proud of the end result. Why not do some yard work or cook a big meal? Finishing something always gives me a boost of satisfaction.

5. Build a nest. Grab your favourite funny movie, some snacks, and a friend (or puppy), and plunk down on the couch or in a cozy corner….with the comforter off your bed. I do this all the time, and something about wrestling with a huge giant blanket just makes the relaxing better. Doing this first thing on a lazy Sunday is a delicious and decadent way to wake up.

Have a wonderful weekend!

(& if you feel like exploring, see my older simple happy posts here & here)

ps – I know I’ve been short on my wordier posts lately (my introversion comes and goes) but I have some more fun stuff coming next week including a little video blog I think you’ll be quite amused by =)

I’m happiest when I’m working. When I have an idea for a post and I’m rolling over it in my mind, trying to find the right way to approach it and trying to find the right words. When I have a project on the go and ink on my hands, and when I finally find that moment of Ah Ha when everything comes into focus. I’m happiest when I have ideas that make me dream bigger than I thought I could, and that make me so single minded about what I want that I have trouble sleeping.

I’m happiest when I’m learning, so I’m really in heaven when I’m finding teachers.

I try to stay learning all the time, in all of the things that I love. I pour through the archives of blogs I adore, watching to see when what happened as their little projects took on lives of their own. I read the blogs of people who find my corner of the internet and lap up their lives. I listen to how my favourite writers spin their stories, and I read their favourite writers. I’ve started signing up for classes and workshops, to learn from local women who know their stuff and can help me with mine.  I talk with friends who craft and  friends who cook and friends who knit and friends who draw, and eat up the corners of their wisdom. I conspire. I try to trick particularly wonderful people into being mentors, and I try to live in that place of being open to take as much as I can in instead of trying to show what I know.

I think that one of the best things about being an adult is being able to find your own teachers in your everyday life, and I think the best thing about being a blogger or a blog reader these days is having so much of an ability to just pull up a chair beside people you enjoy and listen to for as long as you like.

I find most of my teachers in my friendships and online- how do you find your teachers, and what have you been learning lately?

]]> http://www.kylaroma.com/2010/03/these-days-happiest/feed/ 34 http://www.kylaroma.com/2010/03/friday-is-for-greater-thans/ http://www.kylaroma.com/2010/03/friday-is-for-greater-thans/#comments Fri, 26 Mar 2010 11:00:02 +0000 Kyla Roma http://www.kylaroma.com/?p=3308

sneakers   heels

movies   television

helpful   busy

thrifted   new

the hand jive   all other dances

podcasts   the radio

gelati   ice cream

barbecue   stove top

thunderstorms   snow storms

hardcover   ebooks

skype dates   phone calls

being honest   being polite

crafty   domestic

sarcastic   saccharine

micro brews   wine

road trips   all inclusives

actions  words

What are some of yours today?