// for creatives who mean business

The Worry, The Wait and A Diagnosis

In the past few months I’ve been dealing with some tough personal stuff that’s been a big journey for me, and I really want to share it with you. I’m still very much working through everything, but I’m excited to be stepping in a positive direction. It’s a scroller and more serious than I usually am, so you’ve been warned!

When I think about it, it’s hard for me to imagine a life without anxiety. It’s hard to explain that it doesn’t feel like anxiety all the time- sometimes it feels like a nagging sense that I’m behind, and if I just worked a little harder I could catch up. Sometimes it feels like opening night, before the curtain rises and the butterflies are strong in my stomach. Sometimes it feels like not knowing where to put my hands when I’m talking, like I’m self conscious or am about to say the wrong thing. Sometimes it feels like I’m sea sick and the world is sliding out from under me, and sometimes it feel like barely anything at all- just like there’s the slightest weight on my chest. But it’s hard to imagine my life without it, as lovely and strange as it would be.

I just thought that everyone was like that, until October.

In the past few months, things have been fabulous on paper- friends and family are beautiful, work is great, I’ve been traveling and reconnecting with friends, and digging into the wonderful messiness of life, but day to day it hasn’t felt like that. Slowly things have been getting hard- I haven’t been sleeping, I’ve gone from my normal (being slightly anxious most the time, but it was manageable) to being extremely anxious, having trouble concentrating and with my memory, and being easily tired out. Things that have always been mild quirks of mine started to amplify to the point of making life less comfortable, and then it started to get exponentially worse.

It was a level of stress I can only describe as similar to a moment when you realize someone is breaking into your home, only it was like that from the moment I woke up until I went to sleep. I was agitated and exhausted, stressed and confused. I had negative thoughts that I didn’t want but had a really hard time keeping quiet. I had no idea what was happening and fewer words to describe it. I continued confiding in Jesse, friends and family and trying to manage it on my own, but in the end there was nothing to say other than “Something is wrong, and I need help!”

I made an appointment to see my doctor, and I cried hard when I had to wait three days to see her. It was so profoundly confusing, I knew intellectually that nothing was really wrong, but I felt like my body was on the verge of deciding between flight or fight all the time, and I couldn’t calm down. When I met with my doctor I was so relieved to see her I could have hugged her. We went through a symptom checklist and after answering “yes” to every question she asked, she said three words that made everything snap into focus:

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Those three words were exactly the ones I’d been trying so hard to find myself. It was a perfect fit, and more than that it was a diagnosis.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder is a psychological disorder much like depression, where you experience some level of anxiety at almost all times. It’s not normal anxiety- like being worried about a test or a performance- but an underlying constant, like a hum in the background of every day that might feel different from time to time, but is always there. The flare up I had in October was hard, but it was a huge opportunity to see that my level of anxiety has been high for many years, but I so was used to always feeling on edge that it didn’t seem strange to me, and there was always a logical explanation for my stress level. I felt like things were legitimately causing it, and often times they were real stresses in my life (I do live in the real world!) but when those stresses were removed, the feelings wouldn’t go away, they would calm down for a time or shift, and I would think that something else was causing them. Until they became too big for me to ignore.

I was diagnosed in mid-October, and I’m still very much at the beginning of my journey with this. Because I was in such an extreme state I’ve started on a medication to help calm my symptoms down, and the clarity and peace that I’ve gained from it has been exceptional- I feel like I’m myself about 70% of the time again, and while I have good days and bad days it’s lovely to be able to live more effortlessly than I have for a while. I’m also still in the process of looking back and seeing how this has effected me, and how long it’s been a burden to me that I didn’t have the ability to see.

Because the symptoms are such a mix of psychological and physical, people with GAD often wait for over ten years to seek help, and I can’t tell you how much I wish I’d had this diagnosis when I was 15 before it was so severe rather than when I was 25. But knowing what I do now, more than anything I feel excited. I’m excited to explore my treatment options, and to find a way to live with this that is comfortable and manageable. I’m excited to know that I don’t feel like this because something in my life is causing it, because knowing that means I don’t have to solve anything, I just have to wait for the feelings to pass. I’m so excited to be having fun day to day, to find writing easy again, and to have the words to explain what’s been too confusing for me to talk about until now.

If I can ask one thing from you, at the end of a very long post, it would be that if you have anxiety that is interfering with your life please talk to someone you can trust about it. A friend, parent, teacher, guidance counselor, pastor, doctor – anyone, just reach out. They might not understand what you’re feeling, but they can help you work out what a good next step is for you. There are lots of treatment and therapy options, and you don’t have to deal with it alone.

And just as an aside, thank you so much for reading my corner of the internet- while I haven’t been writing about this in the past month I can’t express how much your sweet comments and e-mails have buoyed me through some very tough days. I’ve been behind on replying to comments, but being able to scroll through your encouragement and thoughts every day has made me smile and feel truly grateful and lucky to have found all of you. Thank you so much. <3

{image}

Thanks for rating this! Now tell the world how you feel through social media. .
  • meh
  • curious
  • motivated
  • delighted

There are 142 responses already, join in!
  1. What an honest and accessible insight. Thank you for sharing.

  2. That is a really wonderful piece; thank you for sharing such a personal thing.

  3. Eva

    Thank you for sharing. I have social anxiety disorder, and can relate to everything you’ve said. Good for you for seeking help! :)

  4. “It was a level of stress I can only describe as similar to a moment when you realize someone is breaking into your home, only it was like that from the moment I woke up until I went to sleep.”

    Wow. I want to reach through the computer screen and give you a big fat hug! So glad you got to talk to your doctor for a diagnosis and even happier for you that you’re starting to feel a little bit more in control. Thank you for sharing this with us – we love you!

  5. You write about this so eloquently and even though I live with a similar-ish feeling, I still think that the way you’ve expressed, most people can understand the level of anxiety that you’ve been facing can be so incredibly frustrating.

    I’m so happy that the diagnosis itself has given you a sense of control over it. You’re really quite inspiring to me! :)

  6. Anxiety is so awful. It nearly crippled me for a year while I was in college.

    I’m so glad that you’ve gotten a diagnosis and that you are feeling more in control. :)

  7. Thank you for sharing your story, it will be hard, but you’ll have many many real life friends, family and husband to help you getting through this period. I am on the journey too, for something else though. There will be difficult moments when you think it’s not worth the commitment you put in it, but then you’ll understand that life is magical, especially when you have lovely people around ^^

  8. I’m glad you were able to get a diagnosis. Now that you are able to call it something, it might just be easier to talk about. I’m glad you shared it with us.

  9. Kyla, I am so sorry you are going through this, but I want to thank you for writing about it. For a while now i have been thinking I need to call the doctor, but I keep telling myself it will go away, but the reality seems to be that it will not go away. Im very confused.

  10. Thanks for sharing such a personal story with us, Kyla. Anxiety is an awful thing to suffer – I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and depression a few years ago and can totally relate to your experience.
    I have found it tough over the years when sometimes people don’t take me seriously, or think I should just be able to snap out of it. I can’t count the amout of times loved ones have told me to “just calm down”, but when you suffer anxiety as part of every day life, “just calming down” is pretty fucking hard.
    Medication can be a great thing for anxiety – it brings you down to a peaceful “normal” feeling.
    Good luck with this and we’re all here with big hugs for you!
    xx

  11. Thank you for sharing. I’m so happy for you to have received a diagnosis and be on the road to feeling relief daily.

  12. Annie

    I’ve just read the piece and can totally empathise with it. I wouldn’t said I’m depressed, but I’m very anxious. Yes I have a lot stuff going on in my life at the moment. I’m moving soon and the most stressful part has been the solicitor’s sorting out the paperwork. The not knowing if this is going to be week we get a completion date is killing me – not knowing. Because I want to get on with it already. But the point that I want to make is that I had a lot of anxiety going on with this before hand. I mean abnormal anxiety over stuff that wouldn’t in all probability happen. I don’t trust my ability to be able to cope with things – even when the evidence points to the fact I’m a very capable and assertive person. I know that logically, but emotionally is another matter. I’m not saying that have Generalised Anixety Disorder. But it has struck a chord with me and I’m going read up on it and get a medical diagnosis.

  13. I have an anxiety disorder too, and it’s sometimes very severe. For a couple of years I just bottled it up and got on with it myself but then I told my mum – there were tears, and lots of things she didn’t understand. She didn’t get how I could feel the way I could, or how I could have thoughts that were so disturbing. And then I told my friends – they’re not AS understanding but they’re aware of it now and know how to help me. And then I told my doctor which, for me, was a huge mistake. I got referred to a psychologist who mis-diagnosed me, and told me I had a phobia disorder. He tried to treat me with cognitive behavioural therapy but it wouldn’t work because I knew it wasn’t the problem. So I quit without telling anyone. And now I’m trying to figure out what the next step is…

    Thanks for writing this post Kyla, it’s comforting to know that there is someone in the world who knows how I feel :)

  14. kyla, i appreciate this post so much. i too have “general anxiety tendencies” and it actually flared up pretty bad this fall as well. i would get stuck in negative thought patterns that i couldn’t get out of, no matter how much i tried (mostly about “how do i know if i my boyfriend is the one”, “what if i always feel anxious about getting married and then he gets tired of waiting and then i lose the love of my life and and and”). i would start feeling anxious about my anxiety (meta-anxiety) = awful.

    i’ve been to some counseling which has helped a lot. one session in particular, in which the counselor helped me realize that all my anxiety is completely a different issue than my relationship with my boyriend, has been extremely helpful.

    it’s been a lot better these days, but with the stress of school weighing me down, it’s hard to feel completely free of it. reading your post makes me think that i should still talk to my family doctor about it…

    so thank you again for this post. and i am so happy to hear of the healing + freedom you are experiencing in your life.

    peace.

  15. Nicole

    Virtual hugs being sent up to your little nook in Canada. Good luck with your meds and continuing journey and thanks for being so honest here :)

  16. Kyla, this is an amazing post. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be live with anxiety creeping in to all parts of your life. I’m so happy your reached out and found the help you were looking for. You know we’re always here if you need an extra shoulder to lean on. Hugs.

  17. Thank you, thank you for this – for being brave enough to share with us and for encouraging others to get help. Many members of my immediate family are struggling with a highly stressful situation right now, and this just gave me a kickstart to reach out to one of my sisters who is experiencing a lot of the symptoms you mentioned. I’m glad to read that things are looking up!

  18. Hey Kyla.

    I remember you briefly mentioning this in a post awhile back… and just the mention of it was a huge comfort to me. Interestingly enough, I was diagnosed with GAD and a pretty sever panic disorder right around the same time you were.I was terrified that my anxiety and panic were becoming so severe that I was dangerously close to agoraphobic. So that’s why I sought help. And reading todays post sounds all too familiar. Ive been taking medicine for a couple months now and doing everything I can to be brave and conquer it all. An issue like this CAN be kept under control. But it takes time. And each day I notice small differences in how I feel and act. I know that it can feel like you’ll just always be this way. I used to say that to myself. “Well, Amanda. This is your life. You’re just gonna have to get used to being miserable.” But my mindset has drastically changed now. Some people tend to write this off as just really bad stress…. and that can be frustrating. And it can make you feel crazy. But you’re not. And I know first hand how you feel.

    It’s important to talk about it. To share it with anyone and everyone you feel comfortable with. And even some you don’t. We don’t even know each other but please feel free to email me if you ever need a kind word or just someone random to unload on. There is a road ahead of you, as there is for me, but none of us walk it alone.

    For today I wish for you all the joy in the world. A calmed spirit and a sense of empowerment. A ton of laughter and some light-hearted fun. : )

    Amanda
    onejoyfulpilgrim[at]yahoo[dot]com

  19. you are a gem. and so brave. thank you so much for sharing you heart with all of us. it means so much, it really does. i’ve suffered from panic attacks/mild anxiety off-and-on since high school, and while i may not experience anxiety to this extent… i do know that it can be absolutely terrifying, and unexplainable. i lead a very happy life, like you do, and anxiety can seriously come out of nowhere… and oddly enough, my worst panic attacks used to happened when i was at my happiest, just out of the blue. one of my worst ones happened in a movie theater, one of my favourite places to be. right smack dab in the middle of a film on opening day, in a packed theater… i, out of nowhere, completely freaked out. it was horrible and crippling. not to mention mortifying.

    but really… it’s that underlying fear that something horrific is about to happen that is the most frustrating. that feeling of never feeling safe. i understand. i don’t feel it all the time, but when i do… it’s so scary. my mom works in alternative medicine, and she thankfully has been such a huge help with my panic attacks over the years, i don’t get them as often anymore. but that unsafe feeling? that’s been the hardest to get rid of… slowly but surely. i know i’ll fight through it.

    i wish you didn’t have to go through this, kyla. but please know… you are not alone in this. i admire your honesty and your courage. i’m keeping you in my heart, and am sending prayers your way. always. :) <3

  20. I love how honest you are Kyla! It’s a really great thing that you are paying so much attention to yourself and you were able to make an appointment and figure things out. Sometimes it’s hard to come to grips with the fact that anything is wrong (this is for anyone in general) with your body and it’s a really great thing that you’ve been so honest about it. Hopefully in the process of helping yourself, your story can help others too. That being said, I’m wishing you all the best!! <3

  21. Heart.

  22. Well, I know you were nervous about how to pull this post together and you certainly did a beautiful job.

    Here to support you all the way…I understand completely.

    xoxo

  23. I’m so glad you sought help and are on the road to recovery! Anxiety is a nasty thing. It can be very manageable, but it can also get out of hand really fast. I’m proud of you! :)

  24. Wow Kyla. Thanks so much for writing all of this out for us. Not everyone understands…but for the ones that do, this really means a lot and really connects some of us!! You already replied to my earlier message to you and I’m so thankful!! I’m glad you’re starting to work through this and feel better!! xxxxxooooooo megan

  25. San

    Thank you for your honesty, Kyla. I think with sharing your story so openly, you’ve opened up communication for a lot of people that are dealing with an anxiety disorder (or any other kind of psychiatric disorder). I can imagine it’s hard to talk about it, but getting it all out there, saying “Look, here, I am open and honest to talk about it” really shows true courage.

    Good luck on your journey!

  26. I have no words for what I’m feeling right now. If this turns out to be a comment that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, please forgive me. My brain has turned to mush.

    What you have just described is EXACTLY the same as what I am currently going through. I am sixteen and I was diagnosed with depression two months ago, and – I’m being one hundred percent serious here – your story sounds exactly the same as mine. I’m going to bring up GAD at my next counseling session and see what the counsellor thinks.

    Thank you, Kyla. I know from experience that it can be really hard to post such personal things as this and I… asdfghjkl just thank you. I hope you continue to feel better. :3

  27. Kyla,

    Anxiety is often paralyzing. The feeling of being constantly under attack takes a toll on one’s body and mind. Fight or flight, day and night, is exhausting. (Unintentional rhyming there) Having dealt with generalized anxiety, as well as panic due to traumatic events in my childhood, I know it all too well. I began dealing with anxiety almost thirteen years ago and it has been quite a journey. I will say that what I thought might not ever change when I was younger has become something that is a very small part of my life now.

    It is amazing to see so many strong, succesful women here on your blog sharing their own stories of anxiety. It is inspiring, really. I would like to give a gigantor kudos to everyone who said, “Hey, I’ve been there!” or “Hey, I’m there right now!” It is empowering to know that others have faced what you have, although everyone’s experience is their own. I hope that you are able to feel a sense of support from each of these women and they are supported through your honesty and courage as well.

    You’re on the right path and, with a little work, you’re going to be just fine. I look forward to following you on your journey.

    Jen

  28. Thank you for your honesty. My 13 year old little sister has just been diagnosed with anxiety and OCD and it’s something we struggle with daily. It broke my heart when she was diagnosed because she is so young, but this made me realize it’s a positive thing. We can help her now and it won’t have to be left, as yours was, ten years untreated.

    Best wishes to you!

  29. Thank you for your honesty. Anxiety can be a hard thing to deal with. I’m glad you are on the road to recovery now that you have concrete answers.

  30. you shared this with such grace and eloquence and honesty. thank you for that. i can really feel the positivity that has come out of this for you through your words. thank you for sharing with such candor.

  31. Thank you for writing this post and sharing such a personal struggle. As a new therapist, I’m sure I’ll continue to see a lot of clients describing something very much like what you’re going through. While I’ve studied all the clinical jargon and gobbledygook, I want to bookmark this page so I can use some of your words that seem to describe the feeling so much better. Best wishes to you as you go through all of this! Sounds like you’re doing everything you need to do to stay healthy. :)

  32. Beautifully and eloquently written. But I expected nothing less of you.

    Thanks for explaining it so well and for sharing your journey with us, Kyla! XO

  33. Aww, Kyla. I’m glad you have a diagnosis and hope the getting better phase is quick and smooth as can be.

  34. Thanks for sharing Kyla! Very happy for you that you are able to get help and control your anxiety! As a very level-headed person I can’t imagine feeling so anxious all the time! I can only imagine how exhausting and frustrating that would be.

  35. Liz

    Kyla, thanks for sharing something so personal with us. I’m sorry you have been going through a rough patch but I’m so glad you and your doctor were able to pin-point it so you can begin to feel better. Lots of love to you, friend. <3

  36. I talk a lot about my struggle with depression and my own quarterlife crisis. Lately it feels as if things aren’t sticking and I’m always stressed out, tired, and have absolutely no energy. After reading this, I wonder if I have some sort of underlying anxiety issues. The holidays always bring on a slue of emotions, thankfully this year has been more positive, but I always feel extra stressed out of place during the winter months. Thank you for sharing your story. Now I think I need to check into my own issues and see if anxiety could be part of my problem. :)

  37. Thanks for your vulnerability, Kyla. Every time I’m over here it feels special, honest, and refreshing and usually prompts a little reflection during busy moments. Today was insightful, though, because I’ve not been able to move out of that underlying anxiety that has been around for a few years and have always labeled it a response to a string of anxiety inducing challenges that life has thrown us. This is letting me step back and get a better look at things to see if it’s possibly something else.

    You’re a special person, lady! Thanks for what you share over here!

  38. E

    My brother started dealing with anxiety, as a side effect of some depression drugs, this past spring. While the journey to health isn’t easy, it sounds like you are on the right path.

  39. thank you so much for sharing your story…i have been going back and forth for a long time now about going to seek help for what feels like anxiety/mild depression…your words are very inspiring and motivating they are honestly giving me more courage to seek help…i have always assumed i should just be tough and push through any your words are positive encouragement to not do this alone.
    thank you

  40. This post really hit home for me.

    I have struggled with anxiety for years, and years, but have never officially diagnosed. Last fall I had a serious melt down and didn’t think I was going to make it, so I met with a doctor and all she told me was to calm down. Since then I have been diagnosed with other things, acid reflux disease, and irritable bowl syndrome, but have not been properly diagnosed with a anxiety disorder. Maybe one day I will go back, but for now I take each day one at a time.

    So glad to hear that you’re doing better now<3

  41. You have such descriptive writing that makes it all so vivid. I hope you find the ideal treatment soon so you can move forward. Thinking of you.

  42. I don’t have what you have, but I do have an anxiety disorder. I’ve fought with it my entire life, & it was such a big relief when I finally had a doctor say there were things that could be done to help. Just knowing there was something wrong & learning methods to cope with it has changed my life. I feel so happy & relieved for you that you’ve gotten a diagnoses because I understand how just knowing what the problem is can be a huge weight lifted from your shoulders & it’s wonderful finding that you can actually do something about it.

    I love you, I’m so glad you’re on such a positive path! :)

  43. I once overheard a customer at my restaurant explaining her anxiety to a friend. She said, “It feels like I’m always doing something wrong.” And I thought, Wow. That’s exactly how I feel but I’ve never found the words to say it.

    I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was 16. I took Celexa until I was 18. I took myself off of it and have been trying to deal with it on my own for the past 6 years. For the most part, I have it under control, but when new situations arise with new people and first impressions are necessary, I’m a mess. These days it manifests itself in heartburn, which I can manage. But you’re right, having a support system who understands your struggles is key. My husband has been so great with the situation and I don’t know what I would do without that support.

    I wish you the very best in your treatment exploration. Everyone is different so it might take a few different methods, but I’m certain you’ll find the best way to manage your anxiety. I truly appreciate you writing about this on your blog and bringing attention to a matter that is often brushed under the rug.

    Lots of love!! xoxo

  44. Oh, babe. You are so lovely, and I’m so glad you are telling all of us so we can better know how to be here for you, but more than that, I’m so glad you’re getting the help you need. Help is awesome. I’m here, too, if ever you need an ear. Or a long distance hug. I’m great at long distance hugs.

    Love you!

  45. I’ve struggled with anxiety all my life and I was diagnosed by a guidance counselor with GAD as well though I’ve never sought treatment (even though I probably should). It has manifested in various ways throughout my life from terrible nightmares that I couldn’t get out of my mind for months when I was a child, to not being able to stay home alone till I was almost 18 because of crippling fear of something bad happening, to depression, disordered eating, and mostly now to feeling like I’m living in a dream. I know that sounds weird.

    Now that I”m older I want to talk to a doctor about treatment but since Nate and I want to adopt internationally I can’t as many programs won’t let you apply if you’ve been treated for depression or anxiety. :( So I’ll have to wait a few years more.

  46. cb

    this is so brave of you to come out and tell us all! yes having anxiety is NOT fun. i get it sometimes and my husband gets it really bad. when he was a teenager he was on meds but he was unhappy with them so exercising has been what has saved him from exploding. he goes on long bike rides and that relieves the anxiety that he feels. i hope the best for you and know that it is a struggle but we are here for you to cheer you on and give you as much support as you need. don’t worry this is something that you can fix or at least learn to live with. we all go through it and we each have to find what works for us to help combat the problem.

    thinking of you.

    xo,
    cb

  47. Big hug to you! I know exactly what you’re going through, my sister was diagnosed with the same thing. If I could give any advice it would be to take it one day at a time. If you ever, ever, ever need to talk… I’m here for you!

  48. Kyla, I don’t even have words to respond. You are such a beautiful soul, bringing such positive energy to the world even in a post about your struggles. You are a role model of grace and compassion, and I am so grateful for the impact you and your words have had in my own life.

    Please know you have a friend in Virginia who is praying for your and sending warm thoughts as your seek to treat GAD.

    I am a newbie to Skype, but if you ever want a date all you have to do is say the word.

  49. OH, can I relate.

    “I felt like my body was on the verge of deciding between flight or fight all the time” – I know how that feels, and I know what [a mild level] of that constant hum feels like. And you’re right – it’s not rational. Regular night, last week, sitting in a movie theater and trying to figure out why I felt my defenses up, as if something was about to attack me or go horribly wrong. It didn’t, of course, but I know that feeling. I’m really happy you’re seeking help with that, and I’m processing what reflection of myself I see in your words here, that I haven’t been dealing with because I try to convince myself it’s “under control.”

  50. Sidenote: I JUST noticed the default gravatar for those who don’t have one, and OH MY GOD THE CUTENESS of the Shipperke (sp?).

  51. Good for you! Just making an appointment is so difficult, but I was in the same boat and wondered why I didn’t seek treatment 10 years earlier. I had no idea I didn’t have to feel like that. Anxiety was such a normalcy in my life, almost a security blanket, so I didn’t know what life would be like without it. Meds and therapy for a year and I felt a million times better. Best thing I ever did for myself!

  52. Hi Love. Can I say me too? Maybe not to the degree you were feeling, but close and I sought help and it changed everything. I still feel anxious, and I still have physical displays of that sometimes, but I learned so many amazing tools that make things feel more manageable. I’m so grateful that you sought and received help with all of this. You’re amazing and strong and wonderful.

    • Aw I’m sorry that you’ve dealt with this too Bri, but knowing people I adore like you are dealing with it too just makes me feel so much better :)
      You’re in my thoughts miss!

  53. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Kyla! I can’t even imagine what living with anxiety much have felt like, especially 24/7 as you did. I’m so glad you were able to get help, find a diagnosis, and get treatment for it. Kudos on reaching out and finding answers.

  54. Thanks for sharing your story, Kyla! I bet you are going to help people out there who are experiencing the same things and felt alone – until they read this post. It’s tough to put yourself out there and talk abou things like this, but it’s so powerful to share your story. I am so proud of you – and so glad that things are continuing to improve in your life and you aren’t feeling like you were before the diagnosis.

    Always here for you, cheering you on!

  55. I just love you.
    But I think you knew that already.
    You know where to find me if you need anything.
    <3.

  56. I too have some form of anxiety disorder. Though it has been a long time since any diagnosis was made or i’ve had any treatment (12 years) I feel like i have a good grasp on it. Living with any type of anxiety disorder is so difficult and i’m so glad you’ve gotten help for it – life can be a much better and simpler place when we understand what is going on with our minds.

    I recommend checking out: http://www.radicalmentalhealth.net/?page_id=4

    there are some great resources available through that site – even if you aren’t in the Bay Area.

    And please, feel free to hit m e up if you every just want to chat about anxiety or mental health issues. Sometimes it can really help to talk to someone who understands something of what I am going through – maybe it would help you too!

    -Grace

    • Thank you so much for the resource! I really appreciate it and the offer to talk, you’re wonderful :)

  57. Oh hunny, I 100% relate….emailing you….and I’m super, incredibly proud of you for writing about this and for seeking guidance on dealing with it. HUGS.

  58. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I know others will find help in this. I’m so glad that you got help and now know what’s going on. I just can’t say thank you enough. I’m cheering for you.

  59. <3 my sweet friend, thank you for the revealing and honest post. Lets have a skype date sometime soon and I will give you a virtual hug :)
    love love love you and am proud of you – Moorea

  60. lady love, i have the same problem. it’s rough, and it has taken a long, long time. but I have learned ways to cope without medicine (one thing I really really wanted for myself.) I hope you find your own method of coping, and i am so happy that you have people around you to help! feel better.

    <3

  61. First, thank you so much for sharing your experience and story with us. This post speaks to me a lot right now as I just recently came out and said, for the first time ever, that I think I might have an anxiety issue. I can never tell what’s me-crazy and what’s normal-crazy and as life has chugged along I’ve realized there are things, little things, that stress me out to a point that’s not at all normal or okay. So I’m working through it, figuring out what needs to be done and if it’s something I can work through on my own or with the help of close friends or if it needs more than that.

  62. You are a brave woman Kyla Roma! Even admitting that you need help is such a huge step and I applaud you for not only seeking help, but being honest in the journey. We can all learn something from you!!

  63. katrina

    i love you for sharing this, Kyla, I truly do. just so you know: I UNDERSTAND. thanks for having the courage to share this.

  64. So I’ve been dealing with anxiety since I can remember…nothing officially diagnosed, but I’ve become more and more aware of it as I get older, and have been seeing a therapist on and off to keep my emotions in check. I’ve been considering medication but I have a sensitivity to everything so the thought of it freaks me out….so I’m wondering how your meds affect you. Do you feel altered? or just more calm? And physical effects? Doctors just read you the warning label, so I’m wondering this from someone who’s actually experiencing the medication.
    Thanks for sharing this. Anxiety is a weird disorder. People just think I’m over sensitive all the time…..I haven’t been open about it till recently. It helps to know you’re not alone.

    • My experience with medication has been fabulous, I’m on Effexor and have had no side effects at all other than not feeling crazy all the time! lol :) I can focus again, I don’t have repetitive negative thoughts any more, my memory trouble is going away- I’m really lucky because my experience has all been good.

      I have a really delicate system too, but I don’t feel more calm than usual or altered at all- I just feel like the anxiety has melted away. I don’t know what my long term plan with it is, but for now it has seriously been beyond life changing. Please feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions! :)

  65. melinda

    kyla-
    i’ve been lurking your blog for a couple months now. first of all, i think you’re adorable and creative and have loved reading about you and your puppies and your crafty life. i can’t tell you how this post has affected me. i’ve always been a worry-wart, but in the last couple of years it has escalated so much and started to greatly affect my day to day life. but i’m also very stubborn and have kept telling myself that i can handle it alone. you’ve inspired me to take the next step and reach out to someone. thank you so much for sharing your story. i hope that things continue to get better for you.

  66. You’re such an amazingly strong person to be able to share this story with everyone. I can somewhat relate – maybe not to the same degree – but I’m glad you were able to find the answers you needed to help you feel better. Admitting you have a problem is the hardest yet most important step.

  67. Casey

    This is such a powerful post. There are many people that go through this very thing, including myself, but are too afraid to talk about it. Congrats on putting this out there and allowing yourself to start seeking knowledge, it is the hardest part. You will help others with this openness. Thank you for sharing and remember, you are not alone in this journey.

  68. Thank you for sharing something so incredibly personal. I’m glad you were able to find the help you needed and, as someone who only just met you, it seems like the treatment is working. You struck me as collected, positive and lovely.

    All the best!

  69. Thanks so much for writing so eloquently about this, I’ve been dealing with similar issues too this past couple months, and seeing someone else write about it makes me feel not quite so strange :) thanks*1,023,098,0983,423,432,432

  70. Jan

    Oh you must be so relieved!!!
    I can sympathize. Though not constant as you explained, I suffered from attacks for over a year after a mild brush with my own mortality. It was a horrid, horrid experience.
    I’m so happy for you :D

  71. Oh, I’m so glad you were diagnosed & feel relieved about the diagnosis – & that you’re taking steps to work through it. Anxiety is no joke, & it can be so difficult for people who don’t have anxiety issues to recognize that. I’m ashamed to say I’m guilty of not realizing it when a friend had anxiety problems years ago; now that I struggle with some myself, albeit not as serious as yours seem to be, I feel very contrite about my refusal to try to understand what she was going through. I hope you’re able to control your anxiety & come out on top!

  72. kyla i can only imagine how difficult it was to open up about this and i sincerely applaud you for it. and i’m so glad you got help when you needed it, you are truly amazing.

  73. Oh, I’ve had friends who have been diagnosed over the past few years as well. I do hope that the treatment works wonderfully and that you are on the path to an anxiety-free self. I myself have been experience much more anxiety lately, but not anywhere near the same level. Thanks so much for sharing, dear. ♥

  74. A diagnosis is a wonderful thing. I’m glad you’re on the path to an easier and less stressful life now :)

  75. <3

  76. I hear this loud and clear. I went through the same thing when I was a senior in college; I struggled through almost six months of therapy before I had to go on medication, which I was on until just a couple of weeks ago. When all was said and I done, I had been on my medicine for almost three years, and I was just ready to try things on my own again. It’s definitely a battle though – I’ve had anxiety since I was a kid, and I will always have anxiety. If you ever want to talk or anything, please feel free to contact me, and I’m SO glad to hear that you’re on track to feeling better!

  77. <3

    I'm so glad you shared this. You know where to find me if you ever need a cake/tea/perogy break.

  78. Friend, I have the same thing. I was diagnosed back in first year university, but looking back, it’s something I’ve been dealing with my whole life. I manage with meds as well. I’m so glad you posted about this – more of us talking about it means we’re slowly erasing the mental health stigma, so others won’t take as long to get help. :)

  79. Oh you poor thing!!
    I totally and completely understand, daily panic attacks since I was 8, nervous, anxious ALL THE TIME. I have GAD too, just a year ago I went thru a cognitive therapy group. At first I had super anxiety over even going, but it was one of the best things I ever did! Not cured by any means, but I was able to teach my self how to re think a little, and better deal with the thoughts that were causing anxiety. They should have an Anxiety Clinic in your area. Highly recommend it! So amazing that you were able to share. I don’t think I ever could. To be honest writing this comment makes me a little anxious.
    PS. really love your blog.

  80. Hey lovely. Thank you for sharing your story. I know it has probably inspired others to seek help.
    I’m not as comfortable being open about these things, so I sent you a DM. It is good to find healthy coping mechanisms and to go to therapy to determine the underlying causes that often times go above and beyond those that are neurochemical in nature.
    I am so so so very glad you reached out for help because no one should go through that alone. Hugs. <3

  81. You are beautiful, strong and courageous. You looked in the mirror and went out there and said….”Something is wrong!” I am proud of you for finding out your diagnosis.

  82. I’m so glad that you got to the bottom of this.

  83. Joey

    I haven’t been diagnosed with GAD, but a counsellor at school suspects I have it. As I read through your symptoms, I recognized more as being things I felt over a year ago. A constant feeling of anxiety, pervading almost everything. If I wasn’t anxious about something, I found something to worry about, or I just didn’t feel quite right. I’ve always been anxious, but this past year exacerbated the negative effects. The summer before I started grad school I lost about 10 lbs without realizing it, I started up with some really odd and frightening coping mechanisms, and I lost my appetite. It was a horrible, awful, and no-good time in my life.
    I went on some medication, and lucky for me, I still feel like myself. I actually feel like I am better able to be myself because I don’t have constant worry influencing my every action and thought. I know meds aren’t the greatest for everyone, but I really feel grateful I have something which helps me out.
    I greatly appreciated reading this entry. A few of my friends just don’t get it, and this sometimes makes me feel pretty rotten. However, reading what you had to say made me feel a little less lonely out there. Thanks!

  84. Je

    I’ve been there – it’s so, so tough. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but two years ago I had a “Situational Anxiety” problem… not full time, but at least for a year. I didn’t feel like myself, couldn’t be in a room full of people, developed a fear of flying because of it (cause I felt like I was going to have a panic attack and couldn’t escape the plane and eyes of everyone), woke up with pressure in my chest, and on and on. Even thought it’s mostly gone away, I can relate with the fact that it’s THE.WORST feeling in the universe. Especially when you feel like it’ll never end. To this day, I can’t not have a little tiny anti-anxiety pill in my wallet for a “just in case” moment. It’s so scary and difficult! You’d be surprised how many people go through it… or deal with it. Makes me think about deeper issues with our Society, pressure, etc. But Kyla – you’re surrounded by understanding and friends!
    xoxo

  85. Just know that you are not alone. I recently went on medication for GAD myself, and it’s amazing to actually start feeling like myself again. I still have my moments, but everything is so much easier to manage now. I waited so long to seek help because I thought it would just go away, and I didn’t want to be stigmatized by taking medication. But then I realized, who cares what anyone else thinks? Thanks for sharing your story and giving others the encouragement to get help.

  86. Thank you for sharing. It is always so brave of us to talk of insecurities and personal subjects, but this comes with an important message as well. Way to go. I’m proud of you.

  87. how kind and brave of you to share this story…you’ve explained so well something that can be hard for people who haven’t ‘been there’ to understand, and something that can be so different from person to person.

    best of luck in finding balance and peace out there on your prairie ;) extra hugs to J for being there for you

  88. deuxoutroischoses

    I have huge, huge anxiety also, much as you’ve described. It takes all the pleasure and fun out of life. I haven’t been to a psychologist in years though, what with the language barrier and I’m afraid to start messing around with prescription drugs. I’ve been trying an over the counter product available here though for anxiety made from four different plant extracts. It’s probably just the placebo effect but I do feel it helps slightly, just slightly. As for my diagnosis, it’s not official but I’m fairly certain I’m mild borderline and just knowing that makes it easier to look at and deconstruct the worry and anxiety. Best of luck with everything, it sounds like you’ve taken a positive step in the right direction. And bravo for sharing it with us!

  89. kim

    wow. i know SO WELL how you feel. i basically wrote a post like that a few months ago – after six weeks at a clinic, a life-changing diagnosis + medication. this: “I feel like I’m myself about 70% of the time again, and while I have good days and bad days it’s lovely to be able to live more effortlessly than I have for a while.” is EXACTLY how i’ve felt since august and it’s AWESOME! i am SO happy for you and proud of you for a) voicing your fear(s) that something isn’t right, b) getting help and c) sharing with us. sending you a big, fat hug!

  90. Kyla, thanks for sharing your story and being so open and honest. It’s a hard thing to talk about yet alot of people experience anxiety or depression and let it go untreated. So good for you for saying “wait, something’s wrong here” I’ve battled with anxiety myself – much like you I just thought this was how I was built!

  91. Amy

    Thank you for sharing this! I think it’s something a lot of people struggle with, but often they don’t take the steps to seek help or talk about it. Good for you in being proactive!! I hope this is the first step in things getting a lot easier for you!

  92. I am so proud of you for writing so honestly about your journey through this and for knowing when you needed reach out and ask for help. Like yourself, sometimes the axiety gets to be too much for me, but then I turn to someone I trust totalk it out, then usually feel infinitely better. You’re written a beautiful post. I’m continuing to hold you close in my thoughts, friend.

  93. I admire you for sharing your story with us and I’m also glad you were able to seek help! :)

  94. “We went through a symptom checklist and after answering “yes” to every question she asked, she said three words that made everything snap into focus.” I remember sitting in a therapist’s office reading through a list of common “anxiety thoughts” and I burst into tears because every single one of them was true. However that also meant diagnosis time! Which was a huge step in knowing how to move forward. Believe me that this doesn’t have to rule your life, and if you need anything along the path to becoming anxiety-free, please let me know.

  95. tmc

    Kyla, thank you so much for sharing your experience. I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It’s quite an adventure. Some times are worse than others but there is a balance to be found. I know you’ll find your balance again.

  96. Azy

    How courageous of you to share. GAD runs in my family, so I totally relate to this post. Kudos on being so open and honest!

  97. My husband has GAD with panic, but thanks to many years of therapy, an excellent psychiatrist, and the right drugs, he is so much better. Still, it’s a journey, and because I don’t always relate it can get bumpy at times. But I’m so glad you are getting help for this, because it can and will get better!

  98. Thank you for this honest post Kyla. I do get anxiety over strange things sometimes. It was really bad once in my early 20s so my mom had me go to the doctor and it was the best thing for me. I saw a psychologist at the clinic and we talked for a bit. She put me on medication and I had to go back quite often. Then, one day I was magically better! It was great.

    I still get anxiety but never as bad as it was then. My husband is great at helping me with it.

    I am so glad that you got the help you needed and I hope that your post inspires others to get the help they need because it is worth it!

  99. I know just what you’re talking about. I have the most ridiculous anxiety ever. I’m always feeling the ‘fight or flight’ feeling. It was horrible. I’d sabotage job interviews because I would have an anxiety attack, a few times I have had to just get up and leave. It’s a horrible, horrible feeling.

    I have even fainted as a result of my anxiety on more than one occasion. My anxiety had gotten a bit better for a while, I wasn’t dizzy and freaking out at all times of the day, just part of them. One night I got robbed at gunpoint, and I’m going to state the obvious and say my anxiety came back, times ten. And having that sort of experience to compare an anxiety attack to, I sometimes can’t decide which is worse to go through.

    I understand what you’re going through. If you want to talk about it ever, shoot me an email @ m3lissa DOT Ann AT gmail DOT com. It’s nice to have someone to talk about this stuff with!

  100. Thank you for sharing this. It’s given me a lot to think about and I wish you the very best in your journey in learning about the facet of your life.

    xo

  101. *hugs* Thank you so much for sharing. We’re all here for you if you ever want to talk <3

  102. […] I move on, I wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who reached out after my last post, with encouraging words, sympathy and deeply personal stories. I’m bowled over and am […]

  103. I’m glad that you feel confident enough now to share what you’ve been going through it’s pretty brave of you.

    I can’t tell you i know what you’re going through, it would be disingenuous of me, but any support you need, just holler

  104. Anxiety is so tough, and so hard to explain to people who have never experienced it. I used to get pretty severe panic attacks in my 20s, but I literally have not had a single one since turning 30. It’s so incredibly freeing to feel like I’ve finally figured out how to manage it & prevent it from happening. Good luck kicking it — it can be done and you’ll get there.

  105. nic

    It’s very difficult to know how to write about these sorts of things and I have to say you’ve done so in such a poignant and honest way. It’s a credit both to your strength as a person and as a writer that you’re taking from your own experience and encouraging others not to be afraid to seek help too. I’m so glad to hear that you are more relaxed and not worrying so much anymore. And, that you have a supportive husband and doctor who really listen.

  106. I’ve been through the whole anxiety thing…I can say sometimes I feel like I’m there. Just take it one day at a time. I adore your honesty and I hope that things get better for you soon. I have an amazing head doctor that I go see when things get too overwhelming for me…I hope your support system is helping you a lot…<3 you.

  107. Oh, Kyla. I’m so glad you got a diagnosis. I’ve been suffering from General Anxiety Disorder for years and it very much a journey. Keep your head up. If you never need anything or to talk to someone who understands, my inbox is always open.

    • Thank you so, so much- I really appreciate the offer and I would love to hear about how you’ve worked through this! We’ll talk soon :)

  108. Oh lady, I’m so happy that you’ve found your diagnosis. Anxiety can take over your life; I’m so glad that you’re taking steps to make sure that it doesn’t. Anxiety can be so difficult because it creeps up on and becomes your normal. I remember how bizarre it was to realize that other people don’t exist in a perpetual state of FRET. You are lovely and strong and so brave for sharing this on your blog. Take care xoxo

  109. Andrea

    A fellow GAD sufferer here!!

    I have been dealing with surges and severe stages of this my whole life, and was properly diagnosed a couple of years ago. It is a relief the finally understand what has been going on FOREVER and why I have always seen life differently and managed it differently to other people.

    I go through stages where I need medication, and then go off it hoping thatI have learnt through my therapy sessions to work through my anxiety, but eventually lapse again and go back to medication and therapy. Often I leave it to late to get help and find myself in a heap with a steep climb to get out again! Please don’t let it get to this point again, writing this and reading your words have prompted me to work on controlling and working through my GAD more regularly in order to lead a level life rather than one that goes through years of up and down cycles.

    You are so brave for speaking out about this – I have never had the courage and hibernate in my little safe cocoon (bed) when things get too much. Thank you for being an inspiration, and I wish you all the best in your journey working through this xx

    • Thank you so much for your words Andrea! I’m definitely feeling like medication is the best way for me to control it right now because it was so out of control, but I’m looking forward to finding a therapist who can teach me coping mechanisms for when it’s not as bad. I feel like right now I’m at such an advantage now that I have a diagnosis! At least now I’ll know what’s going on in the future when I start on another “down” cycle :)

  110. you are brave for sharing this and thank you so much for doing so. you have inspired me to seek some help in the same area as well :)

  111. Awh, Kyla, I love you to pieces. As soon as I started to read your post I thought it was GAD—my sister was told she was experiencing the same thing about a year ago and she now takes medication as well. I’m so glad things are going so well for you but I’m also so happy that you now know what’s the deal with how you have been feeling. ::hugs::

    • Aw, I love that you knew what it was before I even did! It’s such a strange assortment of symptoms that I totally see why it takes so long to get a diagnosis- I hope your sister is doing better with hers! <3

  112. I’m so glad I found your blog. You are a beautiful writer. I’m happy that you have reached out for help, anxiety is a terrible thing! Thanks for sharing :)

  113. Mel

    I know you’ve probably had a ton of emails come in, but I sent you one. :) If you ever need chat, let me know. I have had it for 6-7 years!!!

  114. Thanks for sharing this. I am so glad you went and got the help you needed. And I find it incredibly courageous of you to share this on your blog. I’m glad the medication is helping you and that you are feeling better now.

  115. This was a very honest post and I am glad you shared everything with us. I can only imagine what it feels like but I wish you all the best and all the strength and courage you need to battle your anxiety. And remember, we are here and right there with you! :)

  116. Lisa

    Kyla! I’m so happy that you’ve shared this with us, and even more happy that you’ve found some help and some relief. My boyfriend has GAD as well, and I know for him it was such a relief just to have a diagnosis and to know that he wasn’t going crazy. Some days are good, some days are a struggle, but either way it helps him to understand that it’s not his fault or the fault of anything in his life. He’s finding that yoga and other forms of exercise helps him a lot, it gives him something to channel his negative energy into! We also take time to do deep breathing techniques together. :) Much love & luck to you as you seek relief in this!

    • Oh that’s so wild that someone so close to you struggles with it too! I’ve never even heard of it, and I don’t know anyone with anxiety issues (that I know of) so I was feeling really crazy at first lol The response to this post, my diagnosis, and the medication have all come together to really help me feel so much more normal about it. :)

      Good for you for being there for your boy, I know I would be in a much worse place without Jesse’s help and I’m sure it’s the same for your boyfriend :)

  117. Sarah

    Kyla I used to have this too. I get anxious sometimes now too (with a divorce coming, crazy ex, adn toddler etc etc etc) but I haven’t had the symptoms badly since I was about 17. I think i had a flare up again about 25 but since then (almost 5 yrs strong) no problems.
    My best advice to you is this: exercise and no sugar were my saving graces. Limit or banish coffee and tea (reminder to self!) and learn meditation if you don’t know it already adn do it DAILY. I used to wake at 6am at university/college/ in my dorm (not sure your word for it) and meditate to a tape i made myself for breathing out negative and breathing in positive, letting go of tension. I even cure myself of a fear of blood at the time through this. I never took medication (be careful not to rely on it if you don’t have to because it’s only a bandaid/mask). Get to the root of your problems and try to be type B. I recommend Dan Millman’s books, and also Paul Wilson’s “Instant Calm” for many tips an tricks that work quickly and will change your life back. Also find info re “thought stopping”
    Lots of love and hugs. You’ll be fine.
    Sarah

  118. Good for you for seeking help. I’m bipolar, as was my mother, and I get the feeling where you find yourself bawls out crying in the tub for no logical reason and kind of go.. what the hell is happening? My life is FINE, I’m apparently just a mental circus!! So seriously, kudos and hugggggggggs! xoxo

    • Oh sweetie, wow! I had no idea! Thank you so much for sharing that- I was experiencing really alarming mood swings before I started treatment and it was so scary. I hope you’re doing well with it now, and it’s so good to know that you relate :)

  119. Kim

    I am late in reading this, but how can I not comment? I have been reading your blog for several months now, and it has impacted me more than any other. I am only a few years older than you, but I am married to someone older, and it sometimes makes me feel like it’s too late for new beginnings. You have an enthusiasm and “anything is possible”ness that I feel like I had in college, but it was pushed out of me when I entered the working world, and reading your blog is really what began to reawaken it in me.

    There is a lot more I could say, but mostly I just want to say thank you. I am so happy that you were diagnosed and are receiving treatment. I hope each day gets better!

    • Oh Kim, that is so incredibly sweet of you to say- thank you so much, I love that my blog has helped you to see the opportunities that are walking around every corner in our lives every day. I think that’s the sweetest complement that anyone has paid to me!

      Thank you also for your encouragement, I’m happy to report that I’ve been feeling steadily better and better- which is a huge relief and comfort. :)

      I hope you keep searching out the every day adventures in your life and that you’re being very kind to yourself- and thank you again for reaching out :)

  120. […] working through my anxiety – In October I found out I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and since my diagnosis my life has become so much happier and […]

  121. Kyla, I’m a little late to this post, but bravo to you for getting diagnosed and working through this. I have chronic depression which means at most times, I’m in a depressed state. Or was. I, too found help with some medication that balances out my brain chemicals, etc. and have been seeing a therapist. I’ve also helped start a non-profit organization raising awareness for Mental Health; fighting it, surviving it, and inspiring others (fightsurviveinspire.org will launch in January!!)

    My point is that I just think it’s amazing as how someone so seemingly happy all the time; life is going peachy keen, can have anxiety, or any mental condition. The way in which you handled it is to be commended and I adore every hair on your head :)

  122. Hi Kyla,
    Just started reading your blog (via Leigh-Ann), and wanted to say a few words of support. I’ve been dealing with clinical depression and anxiety for the past ten years. I was on medication for many, many years but just recently came off of it. I know how hard it can be to have a mental illness, so many people just don’t understand what it’s like. Luckily I have had an amazing husband stand by me the entire time, even when we first started dating 8 years ago and I was at my worst. Best of luck to you, and congrats to you and LA for what you’re doing with Freckled Nest!

  123. […] I loved what I was doing, but my anxiety was sapping all of my energy, so I saw a doctor and was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I started treatment for it and realized that my life could be […]

  124. Thank you so much for sharing this, I recently have been diagnosed with OCD after working tirelessly to hide it for years. Only my family knows at this point, but reading this makes me feel like I need to let go and stop hiding it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and letting it out in the open is a public declaration of that.

    I was a fellow Indie Biz student with you and I am so excited for you! I love your blog and it’s so exciting to see what one small decision like joining a class can do! Keep it up girl, and thanks again. :)

    ~AB

  125. Thank you for writing this. Seriously. Thank you.

  126. […] been a long time since I wrote about being diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder in the fall, and while I was overwhelmed by the positive response […]

  127. Dezirae

    Hey Kyla, (by the way when I first saw your name I said to myself “love it, the next daughters name I think so!”
    I have struggled with high anxiety for as long as I can remember. I’m talking since a small child here. Reading what you’ve thought, felt, and have gone trough with these “symptoms” sounds like I wrote it. Last year I got diagnosed with OCPD Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. But I honestly don’t think thats what it is. But really how do you go to your Dr. and say “hey buddy I think you’re wrong” You know Dr.s’ love to hear the “i read on the internet…or my friend told me…” lines….This past month or maybe even more my anxiety has gotten a lot worse. Mood swings, panic attacks for apparently no reason or if there is a reason it’s something mundane. I didn’t realize how bad my anxiety level was until I finally went to a psychiatric Dr and she asks me questions and after I answer she says “how the heck have you been living like this?!” It’s all I knew. I’m rambling now…What I was getting at is I went to another Dr. about two weeks ago he didn’t say much just wrote me knew scripts for meds. If your comfortable telling me (email) what were your prescribed? I was first put on Abilify. Which made me paranoid to the max. Then my PCP tried Ambien for my sleeping problems. Didn’t work. I still layed in bed for 3+ hours and then would be woken up continuously by my racing brain. So then we tried Lunesta……same results. Now I’m on a form of Trazadone that you take at night and Klonopin for the day.my anxiety feels the same. The butterflies in your stomach feeling or feeling like you’re forgetting something even though you know your not. The only thing that it’s helped is my mood swings…..I don’t really know what I’m trying to get at. It’s just nice to know that I’m not alone in these”crazy” feelings. Sorry for the novel.

  128. This post helped give me the courage to post about my own mental health. I also suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder as well as Major Depressive Disorder. Thank you!

  129. Hello! I’m just starting reading your blog and reading this made me feel connected with you. I am 16 and have the same thing. It comes in the form of pain and feeling sick to my stomach though. I have had it for about 5 years and been trying to find a medication i don’t react to. Hearing this gave me hope that I lost… being sick 24/7 is hard but you know what? I love life and It gets me down some days but I’m always going to get over it and think happy thought to get myself through it. I loved your story, thank you so much for sharing it <3

    I have a blog as well so if you'd ever like to pop over some time and take a peek I see we could be great internet buddies!

    xox
    astrid

    agirlnamedastrid.blogspot.com

  130. Cris Metz

    I, too, have GAD and you’ve described it perfectly. Mine is very psychosomatic and for that reason, I have been too afraid of taking any medication for fear that I might be the .00001% that has a life-threatening reaction. What has helped me tremendously, though, is two-years worth of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), mindfulness, and grounding exercises for moments when my anxiety level is through the roof. I would highly recommend seeing a therapist whose approach is ACT-based. It really helps!

    • I’ve never heard of that approach, but I’ll definitely look into it! Thank you for letting me know about your experience & what’s been helpful :)

  131. Hello <3 I only discovered your blog this morning and was already about to hit the follow button when I saw the letters GAD and did a double take. I've been diagnosed with it too and everything you've written about it describes how I've found it too. I want to thank you for sharing about it so openly. <3 lovely to meet you, in the blogger sense. have a nice day x

  132. Lauren

    Thank you for sharing; just a reminder that I need to keep on top of my anxiety and seek help again!!!

Leave a Reply