Six years in a private junior high and high school was definitely interesting. My school was progressive, secular and high pressure. It hung on the British structure, from uniforms and boarding to being put in one of four “houses” when you were admitted. My graduating class was unprecedentedly large at a whopping thirty five girls, and my time inside its gates were wild. They were everything you would imagine and more. We worked two grade levels ahead of other schools in most subjects and the implication was clear: this is a gift from your parents, so get the scholarships they paid for.
It was tribal and claustrophobic in the way only family can be, and as you can imagine that kind of an environment bakes rebellion into your system. So when I graduated, I did what you might expect: I took a year off to regroup, broke up with my awful high school boyfriend, cut off my hair, pierced my nose and started stretching my ears to a zero gauge.
I didn’t want to be a girl from That School and I didn’t want to go to school with Those Girls. I needed a clean slate, and if I couldn’t bring myself to move away I would be a new version of me. Only the new version of me was just as shaky and uncertain as the old version, and just as confused.
I don’t know how many people end up having their mom beg them to get tattooed, but mine did. My mom is crazy and wonderful, definitely not your normal mom. She got it into her mind that what would knock all of this rebellion out of my nineteen year old system was simple: I just needed to get a tattoo.
I started pulling together ideas and trying to find something that had meaning to me, that wouldn’t be trendy or strange when I was an old woman. I thought about the year that had put me in this strange and upset state. It had been so difficult I was nearly pulled apart.
I found out that I’d been repeatedly cheated on by my boyfriend of two years, who had spent the previous six month constantly accusing me of being unfaithful. He’d started telling me who I was allowed to see and who I wasn’t, in so many words. He was making threats. I was afraid of him and deeply sad all the time, but finally had the courage to break up with him. He retaliated by making up awful stories about things “I’d said” about my friends, until I had no friends left and was almost completely without support. He started following me, showing up at my house at all hours of the day and night, showing up at my friend’s houses, at restaurants when I was out to dinner. He was always sitting in the background to let me know he knew where I was. My phone rang all the time, and he would show up at my mom’s house, screaming and pounding on the door until we had to call the police. I was rocked by panic attacks constantly, and was eventually diagnosed with a completely out of control panic disorder that paralyzed me to the point of not wanting to leave the house.
It was months and months of heartache followed by months and months of fear. I became a paper shell of a person who might blow away or burst into flames at any moment. My mom looked into my eyes and told me we would get a restraining order, a therapist, and a tattoo*. And in the mean time she would make me some tea.
I tried to find an image that would reinforce everything I knew I needed to become: strength after being broken, peace after being afraid.
I’ve always been hypnotized by koi fish. I could stay at a pond for hours peering into their funny faces and looking at their sleek, beautiful bodies. They grow to be so large and so old, always wrapped up in the hush of underwater.
I took Japanese at school until I was in grade eight, and in their legends the strongest koi fish can swim upstream against anything. Eventually it swims to the top of a waterfall where it leaps into the air, and in the mist is transformed into a dragon. When I was nineteen I knew that I needed to be a dragon girl, no matter how scary that process would be. I knew I could make a decision about who I wanted to be: the nervous girl at the back of the room, or someone whose happiness radiated out through their every motion and word. I could be someone joyful and unapologetic if I worked on myself every single day for as long as I could see into the future.
This May I’m turning twenty five, and I’m closer to being that girl than I ever could have imagined. In a couple of weeks I’m meeting to talk to my artist about another piece (this time on my shoulder, the chronic pain in my back is too bad to have this built on) to celebrate how far I’ve come.
Every now and then I think about what these drawings on my body will look like when I’m an old woman. Will I still like them? Will they still be me? But when I get to the heart of it, I’m not worried.
They wil be perfect because they are a part of me. An old and creaky, belly laughing dragon girl is still a dragon, after all.
{get a closer look here & here}
*While I spoke with the police a number of times, I was too anxious and overwhelmed to go through with getting a restraining order, and I can’t tell you how many times I wish I had gone through with it. Talking myself out of what my therapist and the police recommended was another part of justifying my boyfriend’s behaviour. If you are in an abusive situation, please seek the help and the protection you need to feel safe.
{ 94 comments… read them below or add one }
This was such a beautiful, inspiring and interesting post to read. Thank you.
.-= Janie´s last blog ..Techless Monster Girl =-.
Oh it’s beautiful… I really like the story behind it, I wish I was brave enough to get something that big but I’m sticking to small at the moment.
Do you know what you’re going to get this time?
p.s. I’m thinking at some point of a cherry blossom branch up one side of my spine, not massive but something pretty
That is a beautiful tattoo…
.-= Woolly´s last blog ..The Bet =-.
Hey
I found this story really inspiring, and I also think it is a great thing to be able to look back on the person you once were with advice, and love. It shows how far you have come. Even the bad times are still your times. It took me a while to not hate the person I once was, or blame myself, or been unable to bear thinking about it. Sometimes I still feel that way, you know when you get the shudder? But still, it’s all me, and this is all you. Thanks for writing this.
.-= SSG´s last blog ..hello again =-.
I’m so excited for you to get this new tattoo, and proud of you for sharing that story. I haven’t the courage to share mine with the world yet and yours just makes me want to give you a big hug all over again. Also – thanks for the tattoo chat on Friday. I’m feeling a lot less intimidated and that little bit more excited about moving forward :) <3
.-= Emily Jane´s last blog ..Updates – and some quick and easy decadence! =-.
There is so much strength in sharing these stories – strength to tell them, strength to hear them. I believe that the more we tell stories like this, the more we spread strength to those who need it, in some form. Bravo Kyla. xo
“They wil be perfect because they are a part of me. An old and creaky, belly laughing dragon girl is still a dragon, after all.”
This couldn’t be closer to the truth. I feel the same way about my tattoos. I can’t wait to see photos of the new addition, and how happy I am for you for making it to the top and jumping out of the water.
People ask me about what will happen when I’m an old woman – will I like my tattoos then? And the answer is, probably not. But I won’t like my arms either. I won’t like having wrinkled, sagging skin. So the way I see it, it doesn’t matter anyway. :)
.-= L.L.´s last blog ..I will admit to doing what every other girl does… =-.
Ahhh, I loved this post, for so many reasons. Your mother’s encouragement and support, your rebellion, your story of the koi fish… So lovely.
I have always, always wanted to get a tattoo but haven’t ever found an image I wanted inked onto my skin for all time. But, in the past year, I realized that of course I couldn’t think of an image—because I don’t think in pictures. I think in words. And so now I’m toying with the idea of getting “Strong, brave, true” (my mother’s adage) in Sanskrit. We shall see, we shall see…
.-= Hannah´s last blog ..No further questions. =-.
What a brave, beautiful story. I love your tattoo, and I can definitely relate…I have two tattoos, both are which incredibly and endlessly important to me.
.-= Kori´s last blog ..Olympia =-.
It’s funny how that helps. I’ve been through the “I don’t know what to do so I’m going to cut off all my hair & get a tattoo” phase myself & its so effective to get out of a rut & start moving in a new direction. It almost makes no sense but makes PERFECT sense. Change is good & that tattoo is beautiful.
I love hearing other peoples stories as to why they have the tattoos they do. Your story and tattoo are both beautiful. I am sorry you had to go through such a horrid time with your ex-boyfriend but am so glad that you came out on the other side so much stronger. You are the girl that radiates happiness, reminds others that they too can swim upstream against anything, and I am very honored to call that dragon girl my friend.
Can’t wait to see the new tattoo and hear the story behind it.
You are an incredible woman. Koi fish are such wonderful symbols of strength and you most definitely carry that strength with you everywhere now.
I have an open lotus flower that is on the verge of losing its petals and regenerating. That has a lot of meaning for me for various reasons.
I think tattoos are so much more beautiful when they have a personal story behind them.
Thank you for sharing your tattoo story.
.-= Alex´s last blog ..pixie658: {Blogged} I stay sane & maintain focus w/ the help of great friends & a stellar Internship: http://pixie658.wordpress.com #Brazen =-.
I don’t know why the thought of you having a tattoo is so surprising to me. I remember readint that you had a tat a few posts back and going HUH? Kyla?! But this story is amazing.
I have recently thought about getting a peacock feather tattoo. I designed my blog around the peacock because of it’s rebirth and renewal sybolism. I want to get a white feather because albino peacocks are rare and unique. I think I will wait to make my final decision on this piece when I feel I have completely started fresh and gotten my life in order.
.-= Erin @ My Way This Time´s last blog ..Starting Off With A Bang | =-.
I’m hoping to get a tattoo sometime this year, although I haven’t decided what I want to get. I don’t want to commit to anything until I’m sure, but hopefully I’ll get a feeling about what would be right in the next few months. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s a beautiful tattoo and story.
.-= Allison Blass´s last blog ..Living the Lemonade Life. =-.
You are strong and beautiful. I admire you for sharing that story. Thank you for the Monday morning inspiration.
Best,
Hannah Katy
I would have never thought you had a tattoo and when you mentioned it on Twitter (I think it was Twitter), I thought it was something teeny somewhere very hidden. Your tattoo definitely caught me by surprise. I love your story behind it, I love what it means to you. :)
.-= Stefanie´s last blog ..When certain words make your heart melt. =-.
I still remember being a tiny bit shocked (in a good way) when I saw your tattoo in Vegas last year! Reading this story of inspiration and overcoming is so touching, so lovely, so… real.
Thank you for sharing these pieces of yourself with the rest of us.
Can’t wait to hear/see about the new tattoo!
.-= Nora´s last blog ..Free =-.
I love how you say, “I needed a clean slate,” and then you got a tattoo. I’m pretty sure the literal interpretation of getting a tattoo is not cleaning your personal slate (i.e., body). =)
Your tattoo is beautiful. I’m sure your next one will be, too. For a long time, I had many preconceived notions about tattoos. And then I started watching Miami Ink. Not only did I fall in love with some of the artists, but I also grew to appreciate all the many reasons why people get tattoos. Now, I find many of them beautiful works of art. My, how far we’ve all come!
Wow, this story about your ex-boyfriend is pretty scary. I wonder what is wrong with people who feel like they have to control others?!
I am so glad you freed yourself and decided to become the “dragon girl”… ;) The koi fish is definitely a very meaningful symbol.
Thank you for sharing your story.
P.S. It is indeed pretty funny that your Mom suggested you get a tattoo :)
.-= san´s last blog ..The sky is the limit =-.
I’ve always wanted one, but I haven’t found something that means enough to me yet. Or at least, haven’t chosen the symbol that represents those things in tattoo-able form. But someday…
.-= LiLu´s last blog ..Your Weekend Dose of the AWESOME SAUCE, V1 =-.
That was such a beautiful post! I have to say I sort of thought of the book “Girl with the dragon tattoo” at first. I love the tattoo, it is beautiful! And I love the meaning behind it!
That’s a title that I’m familiar with but I’ve never read the book, I’ll have to check it out!
-kr
.-= Anais´s last blog ..Splurge vs. Save =-.
oh I loved reading this!
I think when we’re old women and our tattoos are faded and warped, we’ll still remember every reason that we got them for, and just like we won’t care about the wrinkles on our faces, we won’t care about the aging of our ink stains.
I still owe you a tattoo post. I’m thinking about which one to start with.
I can’t wait until I’m finished creating/nourishing my children, and I can get tattoos again. I’ve got so many blank areas on my skin that need to be filled in.
.-= Tia´s last blog ..Our Valentines Day =-.
This past July I got a divorce. The divorce not only marked the end of a bad marriage, but also a string of abusive relationships that last for 20 yrs. (I’m 27 now) – begining with my step father, then to a boyfriend, and finally to my (ex) husband. When I decided to separate from my husband, I got a tattoo of a lotus flower for many of the same reasons that you got your coy. Lotus flowers start out in the nastiest of muck and work their way to the surface to become a beautiful flower. My tattoo is one my wrist to remind me to continue to strive to bloom into the “flower” I was meant to be.
Good luck!
Once again, friend, your post just blew me away. I love this story, this symbol and what it’s come to mean. You are so the dragon girl, and I just love this little tale from your life. I AM COMING TO THE PRAIRIES. I can’t stay away any more.
Seriously, well done…big hugs, and so much love, dear one.
Again, great post! And I especially like your tattoo because, not only is it unique, it also has meaning. Very cool.
That’s so crazy about the ex boyfriend. How did you eventually manage for him to get lost? Scary…
It was a number of things, I think. First of all I told him I was in contact with the police and they have unequivocally agreed that he was stalking me. While he knew that he was intimidating me and wanted to control me, at that time I didn’t think he had much perspective on how he was acting, but I didn’t believe that his intent was to hurt me. Around that time he asked me to come talk with him in his truck, and he took off and tried to wreck his truck with us in it and backed out at the last moment, and that was when I really knew I was in direct danger. After that there was no middle ground for me and nothing to understand.
We had a couple of conversations where I was really firm that I had no feelings for him and didn’t want to see him, and then I cut off all communication with him and changed all my online account names and cell phone number. Honestly, I don’t know if he really ever did back off. Up until a year after we broke up I would still see him parked on my block watching the house. I moved out because of it, and that’s when he seemed to loose track of (or interest in?) me.
-kr
.-= MelissaOK´s last blog ..Be Mine =-.
It’s always so interesting to learn how people choose their tattoos. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that, but I’m happy you learned so much about yourself and who you could be.
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Losing sight, & then regaining =-.
I love the meaning of your tattoo. Love it. I have a Celtic cross on my back where your fish is. I got it after the break up with my first love, we had met at church and faith was our “thing”… so I got my cross the day that my faith became my own, without needing Jesse to make it real.
.-= Habbala´s last blog ..If you don’t have anything nice to say… =-.
I love tattoo stories and pictures.
Thanks for sharing Kyla!
.-= Ashley´s last blog ..Random Pictures =-.
Thank you for sharing this Kyla. My dad always got his tattoos flippantly, so I’ve never paid notice to how significant they can be emotionally. You’re beautiful, your tattoo is beautiful, and I’m certain your new tattoo will be beautiful as well.
.-= Her´s last blog ..Miscarriage pockmarks =-.
“I don’t know how many people end up having their mom beg them to get tattooed, but mine did.”
MINE TOO.
OK, maybe begged is a strong word. But at the age of 14 I got my first tattoo (a dolphin on my ankle, something I had always wanted and still love) because my mom was getting a tattoo and didn’t want to go at it alone.
I love the story behind your tattoo and it’s absolutely gorgeous! I have a dolphin on my ankle and a maple leaf on my shoulder. I’ve been toying with the idea of getting one more on my back. We’ll see.
.-= Amber from Girl with the Red Hair´s last blog ..TMM Featured Career: Event Planner =-.
Tattoos can certainly be beautiful works of art, and I love when people have real meaning behind them. They have, however, never been for me, and I don’t think I’d ever get one, but if by chance I ever changed my mind, the artwork would definitely have to have a personal story behind it the way that yours does. This was a beautiful story for so many reasons. The koi fish truly embodies what you went through at that point in your life, and even 50 years from now, the meaning will never change. I look forward to hearing the story of your next tattoo. :)
.-= Samantha´s last blog ..Seven Years =-.
Wow – this story really hit home for me as it was all too familiar. Unfortunately many girls share the same story. I am glad that you were brave enough to share it with us all.
I love your tattoo and the next one will be amazing also – they hold so much meaning. Your stories are a part of you as are your tattoos.
.-= Lex @ sweettoothlex´s last blog ..Booty Camp Ab Workout! =-.
I know we’ve talked about the ex situations before but this brought me back…wow.
.-= Ben´s last blog ..Would you believe my writing was featured in an art gallery once? Betcha they’re embarrassed now. =-.
Great post. You are quite a girl.
And, my mom would cry if I got a tattoo.
.-= mediumcrazy´s last blog ..paint, paint, cabinets, paint (or, feel free to skip this post). =-.
Gorgeous post Ky!!
I love your story and how you came to be the person you are today. Your mom sounds like a great lady.
This is an amazing story with luckily, a beautiful ending! You are an inspiration<3
.-= Liz´s last blog ..Music Monday: Reverie Sound Revue =-.
I was wondering what your tattoo looked like! Can’t wait to see what the new one will be.
.-= Vanessa´s last blog ..Make Over My Bedroom =-.
This is beautiful, Kyla. Absolutely beautiful. Both the story & the tattoo.
.-= Ev`Yan | apricot tea.´s last blog ..current inspiration: fashionable bowl cuts. =-.
I loved this post, what a great story. Also your tattoo is gorgeous, beautiful and strong. I can’t wait to see what the next one looks like.
.-= saramcg´s last blog ..This past weekend =-.
Dang what a powerful post and a lovely way to find your blog by readingt his! i love your tattoo!!
The entire time I read this I kept questioning if this could really be true. You just seem so confident – not the type to deal with abuse. You seem to appreciate the simple pleasures – not one to stretch her ears or get a tattoo. It was a surprise. But the story behind the tattoo really brought everything together. It showed how the “then” has affected the “now”. It’s so easy to forget that the surface doesn’t show the entire story. Your story is inspiring, and the meaning of your tattoo beautiful. I can’t wait to see your next tattoo, and hear why you chose it.
.-= Manderz´s last blog ..Right Now =-.
This is a lovely post. I love how so much meaning went into your tattoo. I wish I could say more meaning went into mine.
Good luck with your next one as well. I found the shoulder area was slightly more bearable than the lower back!
What a wonderful, insightful post. Your tattoo is the perfect representation of your struggle and eventual emergence as the lovely lady you are today. Good choice.
Oh, and I’m glad you cut off your hair. It suits you down to the ground! :)
.-= Jen´s last blog ..As inspired by… =-.
Seriously, could I adore you any more? I relate to a lot in this story (not the extremes tho…you really are such a trooper, lady!), and appreciate you being so candid with this process. I am coming up on ten years since I got my first tat, and whenever people ask me if I regret it (pretty much every time someone sees it), I refer back to something an ex-boyfriend of mine said: “I could never regret these. They are my pieces.” He didn’t mean them like tat pieces, but like puzzle pieces, little touchstones for who we’ve been along the way. As I’ve viewed tattoos in that light ever since (which the exception of a few designs of which I am admittedly judgemental), I think they are beautiful additions to any human canvas and I adore hearing the heartfelt stories that inspired them.
.-= Natalie Cottrell´s last blog ..Inside the Actor’s Studio =-.
wonderful story, heartbreaking and inspirational. i love your tattoo and would love to get a version of it on myself. i’ve been looking for koi tattoos and sketching out things for years, and nothing has really expressed what i’ve been wanting except yours. lovely.
.-= Lys´s last blog ..nails and carrots =-.
I want to get a tattoo. Where I don’t know. I want a Phoenix because it will be in honor and memory of my old high school (now closed).
Something like this: http://www.qualitycanwait.com/images/phoenix_logo.gif
or this: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_pCj7i75nGMI/Rbz2Jw2YM_I/AAAAAAAAAAk/cNXVN5cAF98/s320/Phoenix.png
.-= phampants´s last blog ..Ate the Sandwich =-.
Oh wow. What a story. I’m so glad you were able to come out the other side okay. I love your tattoo and what it means to you. Can’t wait to hear about the new one.
.-= Ally´s last blog ..An Open Letter to My Father =-.
This post resonated with me so much I have goosebumps. I got my first tattoo at twenty one (the japanese character for dreamer)after a broken engagement and needing to find a sense of self. Now I’m about to get strength added to show how far I’ve come.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that, that it broke you and you had to rebuild. But you’re a beautiful and inspirational woman, and really are the embodiment of a koi (elegant, serene and yet with a quiet strength).Thanks for sharing your story.
Can’t wait to see the pics, dragon lady.
.-= Meghan´s last blog ..I Came, I Saw, Verdict Is Out about Conquering =-.
What an amazing story. I would have never guessed you went through all of that. And that tattoo? It’s gorgeous. Even more so now that I know the story behind it.
I already thought you were such an inspiring person, and I think it’s safe to say that I think even more highly of you now.
This is such a moving story! I would have never guessed you went through something like that. But it’s wonderful that you were able to come out of it with strength and move on with your life. Your tattoo is beautiful and I love the reasons for getting it.
.-= Cait´s last blog ..jam packed weekend. =-.
Wow, what a story. I don’t have any tattoos and don’t feel the need for one at this point in my life. If I did, it would have to mean something, something big. It would have to have a story behind it because it’s something I’m going to have to look at for the rest of my life and I want absolutely no regrets.
While I don’t love the story to what pushed you to get the tattoo, I am inspired by the meaning behind it.
.-= Stephany´s last blog ..What a Week! =-.
What a beautiful and sad story. I’m so happy you shared this. Your tattoo is gorgeous, and your mom albeit a little out there, sounds like she can be really awesome. That sounds like a truly horrible situation but you made it out there alive, stronger than ever before.
I love your tattoo, it’s gorgeous and I can’t wait to see your next one, dragon girl ;)
.-= Margarita´s last blog ..My Look at the Olympics =-.
I think our moms are a lot a like. My mom came with me to get my navel pierced, and she was thrilled when I got my tattoo!
Your tattoo is just beautiful.
Just a great story. It’s great how you have a tattoo that MEANS something so deeply to you, a reminder of the stronger person you have had to become. Thanks for the honesty and for sharing! You just exude happiness with everything you write: little did I know the pain that brought you there.
p.s. just a minor point, but I thought from the title you’d got a DRAGON stencilled on there! :P
I love your tattoo and I can’t wait to see the next piece be added on. And as always, this is so beautifully written. Miss you!
You are incredible, Kyla! Thanks for sharing your story. What a difficult time in your life. I am so glad you made it through all of that. The meaning behind your tattoo is wonderful.
.-= Lisa from Lisa’s Yarns´s last blog ..Weekend Recap =-.
oh my that story gave me chills! i don’t know how i would react being in a relationship with someone like that. you are so strong for getting out and doing what you needed to do to stay safe from that person. what a beautiful tattoo to symbolize your journey.
.-= iris ashley´s last blog ..oh edward, where art thou? =-.
I totally just got all the emails you sent me responding to my comments… Thank you! =)
I love this story. That you overcame it and rewarded yourself with something that reminds you what you’ve accomplished. And getting a new tattoo is a wonderful idea!
I have five. They are all very personal and I got them after or during something epic happened in my life, for lack of better words… LOL! I am itching to get a new one, but am waiting for inspiration.
Good luck!! And please share when you get it done!!
.-= Melissa´s last blog .."They were the worst of times, they were the best of times" =-.
That was a phenomenal post, and beautiful piece of art…
xo
.-= Princess of the Universe´s last blog ..Frivolous II =-.
So lovely! It’s always good when our reasons for certain designs are multi-layered and 100% personal. I’m getting a large backpiece currently and it’s got me standing taller already.
Thanks for sharing. :)
.-= tmc´s last blog ..I should be given an award and large cash prize for all I do for the greater good =-.
i love hearing the story behind people’s tattoos. i love when there IS an actual story & the tattoo has meaning – like yours. i didn’t know that koi symbolized all it does so it was a learning lesson for me & seems appropriate for you :)
i have 3 tattoos, each with its own meaning for me, and 3 planned. it takes me a while to decide what i want but once i know you just ‘know.’ then i have to find the perfect spot for it…and since two are text the perfect font! lol. yeah – bit of a perfectionist. after a year and a half FINALLY found the font – so i’m ready!
will be interested to see your next tattoo – they can become quite addictive can’t they :)
.-= kay*´s last blog ..… =-.
Ah, kakkoii, Kyla-chan! I’m joining the chorus and saying I love tattoo stories, they tell us so much more about a person and definitely induct them into the tattoo subculture, one built on deeper meaning.
Man, this makes me want to write about my tattoos. I wonder if there’s an opportunity here to turn this post into a meme where people post pics of their tattoos and tell the story. A full post is so much more fulfilling than reading a comment thread on this subject.
.-= nicopolitan´s last blog ..It’s Time To Get Ill =-.
That tattoo is gorgeous. I didn’t know that myth about koi fish. But I love you for sharing that with us. I didn’t know they were such a symbol of strength. I cannot wait to read more about this.
That tattoo fits you perfectly. You are a dragon girl.
.-= Katie´s last blog ..Poetic Guidance =-.
Oh, that’s a gorgeous tattoo. I’m sorry that you lived through such a horrible time with your ex. No one should have to live through times like that. Panic attacks are horrible. I’m glad that you’re in a better place now x
Thank you for sharing this, it must’ve been quite difficult. It’s fantastic that you have been able to overcome this and become so great a person today, your blog posts speak millions.
I love the koi fish, it’s so different to other back tattoos I’ve seen. I think by the time this generation is older the current stereotype of older people will have changed anyway to echo society changing as a whole.
.-= Charlie´s last blog ..Dispensing Advice =-.
I never knew that about koi fish, but now that I do, it makes perfect sense. We’re all fighting some sort of battle. We’re all swimming upstream against something that would love to break us down. We all need a little reminder to be strong, to stand out, to stand up. Thank you for sharing.
.-= StaceyParadise´s last blog ..On going public, the Quarterlife Crisis, and losing my VLOG virginity =-.
That is a really beautiful tattoo, and a really brave and important story to share. Thanks so much for both.
.-= Maggie´s last blog ..My Recipe Is A Finalist! =-.
I had wanted a tattoo since I was a kid and when I was 15 my mother announced that we were going to get tattoos together. I really thought I was the only one who had a mother so intent on getting their daughter tattooed. I’m glad I’m not :)
wow, i had no idea about the meaning of koi! that’s absolutely beautiful. i like dragons.. and koi fish tattoo are really neat. it’s a very nicely done and beautiful piece! love the coloring.
.-= floreta´s last blog ..A Quiet Confidence =-.
I love this story, especially the part about your mom begging you to get a tattoo because: HI, MY MOM TOTALLY WENT WITH ME to get my very first tattoo and signed paperwork because I was underage (17). In fact, she said that I could NOT get my bellybutton pierced, as I had alluded to wanting, but I COULD get a tattoo. It never made (or makes) any logical sense, but honestly? I’m so happy that’s how it happened. I never pierced my bellybutton and have never wanted to since. I have gotten three more small tattoos to go with my pretty small first one, and each one of them means something to me. Each one I very much love and am not worried about not liking years and so many years from now.
We’ve already talked about my next one, but it’s going to be my biggest yet and I’m SO PSYCHED about it. On top of being super sentimental to me, it’s symbolic of a year of intense (and admittedly painful) growth, as an individual, as a woman, and as a daughter/sister/friend.
.-= Kerri Anne´s last blog ..Noteworthy =-.
It’s so beautiful, Kyla! I love it! And I love the symbol that it holds for you.
.-= Allie´s last blog ..I Suck At Sleeping =-.
kyla this is an amazing story and i love that your tattoo has so much meaning for you, that truly is special and it’s wonderful to hear how far you’ve come.
.-= katelin´s last blog ..Bloggers, Half Marathons and Margaritas. =-.
Kyla, your writing is always an inspiration to me! :) I adore this story, the story of how you came up with your tattoo. You are such a strong woman, and I think so even more than I’ve learned a little bit about where you’ve come from. I’m so glad you were finally able to get out of such a terrible situation! And it’s such an encouragement that you came out even more sure of who you are.
PS: I loooove the new little tweaks to your layout! Awesome!
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..A slew of random thoughts, and getting it all out. =-.
Beautifully written, Kyla. Your strength astounds me. :)
Here’s to year 25 and leaping into the air.
xoxo
.-= Brittany´s last blog ..book review [1, 2, 3] =-.
That is BEAUTIFUL lady, just amazing. I love the way you tell the story, and I love the strength that comes through. I’m really close to my next tattoo… something that will be somewhat touched on on my blog tomorrow :)
.-= Doniree´s last blog ..It’s not anxiety, just a glitch in adrenaline-management =-.
I love hearing why people chose their tattoos and your story was sure unique! After reading that, I can see that the tattoo is just PERFECT for you.
.-= steph anne´s last blog ..Staycation for Us, Vacation for Them =-.
Loving the tattoo. Truly beautiful.
.-= Rachel Elizabeth´s last blog .."The human spirit is not dead. It lives on in secret…. It has come to believe that compassion, in which all ethics must take root, can only attain its full breadth and depth if it embraces all living creatures and does not limit itself to mankind." -Albert Schweitzer =-.
This is inspiring in so many ways. Thank you.
.-= sandyb´s last blog ..What if you could retire before 30? =-.
I love hearing the story behind your tattoo and hearing about the positive changes in your life since getting it.
You’re so strong, and I cannot wait to hear about this shoulder piece you’re beginning to figure out!
.-= E.P.´s last blog ..Perfect =-.
You’re tattoo looks cool, glad you are happy you got it! And that it means so much and has a cool story makes it even better.
.-= Chris´s last blog ..Discount Tire Stores =-.
This is a wonderful story, despite all the struggle. Moments of pain and struggle really make the better moments stand tall.
Your tattoo is gorgeous! I’m bribing myself with a completed bachelor’s degree till I can get my first tattoo. Sometimes I wonder if I should just go for it instead of waiting for my degree.
.-= Carolina´s last blog ..Kate Pulley =-.
This is a beautiful story, thanks for sharing. <3
Another beautiful and honest post from Kyla. XO
.-= Mermanda´s last blog ..March for Maddie =-.
I love hearing the stories behind people’s tattoos and this one was amazing. Your koi is so beautiful Kyla! I have a couple other ideas for meaningful tattoos in mind but am waiting for now due to lack of funds & since one of them is based on my children I want to make sure I’m completely finished having kids until I start with that one :)
I can’t wait to see what piece of art you get next <3
.-= jimaiemarie´s last blog ..Sushi with a side of…. {Alternatively titled: "Welcome to my first X rated post"} =-.
Kyla I LOVE this story! I love that legend of the koi fish – I’ve never heard it before. Such fantastic symbolism. I don’t even know you, but I’m so proud of you. I think in those moments in life where you can crumble or become a stronger, better version of yourself, and you choose not to crumble, are when your true character is built. Well done my friend!
.-= Taryn´s last blog ..A Tiny Bit of Spring: The Sidewalk To Everywhere =-.
What a wonderful story of triumph and courage. I’m planning to get my first tattoo soon. Yours is beautiful!
beautiful tattoo…thankyou for sharing your important and painful story….
I had a very similar situation happen to me. That hardest part was getting to the point where what he was doing wasn’t ok anymore and then holding onto that through the storm that followed. I think that this is more common than it should be and that young women out there need to hear the stories of strength, beauty and growth that was born out the turmoil. Thank you for sharing and your tattoo is fabulously you!
I feel the same way about my tattoos. I can’t wait to see photos of the new addition.
I like the tattoo. I’ve got a similar looking fish on my upper shoulder. Looks great!
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