One of the best things about job hunting is the interviews. Endlessly submitting resumes to jobs that I’m semi-qualified for? I can do without that. The job interview is where I’m at home. And having interviewed people at previous jobs? I feel it gives me a little tiny insight into what I’m up against. And it’s not pretty.
So I give you: Five Things You Don’t Want To Do in a Job Interview*
*based partially on being the interviewee, but mostly on being the interviewer of largely clueless people for a very short time some years ago
- Don’t make “friends” with the receptionist to get an edge. She isn’t interested! Be genuine, and polite if she speaks to you, but don’t ask what the other candidates have been like, tell her you’re going to die from nerves, or ask for her to tell the interviewers you are really nice. When I was a receptionist, those were the tame requests – that behaviour was reported straight to the boardroom after they left, and was followed by peels of laughter and lighting the luckless candidate’s resume on fire.
- Don’t have your phone ring, don’t answer it, and don’t fail to turn off the ringer so it rings a second time. If you’re applying for a receptionist’s position they still won’t be impressed by your ability to answer the phone. And referring to the job interview you’re IN as “another interview” and rolling your eyes? I’m right here, about to smack you upside the head, is all I’m saying.
- Don’t ask about maternity leave policies so fast! It’s an important thing, I get it, but please don’t ask in your first interview. And try to get the look of desperation out of your eyes before you ask. I get that it’s important – and evidently pressing – but you’ll freak them all out.
- Don’t ask how far away all the cute boys you saw when you walked in will be working from your desk unless you’re buying a desk and putting it in the hall. In which case I still don’t want to know. We already have an office hussy, is what I’m saying, and she’s territorial.
- Don’t smell like Baby Prostitute. Excessive amounts of sickly sweet, crazy strong perfume won’t help anyone remember you. Okay – let me rephrase…. excessive use of sickly sweet, crazy strong perfume will burn an indelible vision of your tragic, spaced out little face into my minds eye. But it will not help you
What are your best or worst interview experiences?
And I’m going to be guesting with The One And Only Jamie Lovely today! So if you can’t get enough, check out her very amazing blog (and thanks againg for asking me Big JL! It’s cool that I call you that right? No? Jay to the E-EL? No? That’s okay too. I’ll work on it.)
AND it’s Blog De-lurking day! If you read my blog but don’t comment please let me know who you are – just comment below (you don’t need a blog to comment) and say hi! I know I have a shocking amount of home town traffic so if you’re from The Prairies let me know – I might even buy you a hot chocolate!
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Oh my lord Kyla.. this has nothing to do with your post.. but I was watching the news and it said you were going to be -49 today. Bundle up, I’m thinking of you!
xo
Hahaha! I’m just imagining #5! God that would be terrible.
AAAAHAHAHAHAA i love your tips, AND the additional ones from commenters… SO GREAT. i am *flabbergasted* that #4 exists. WHO DOES THAT??
I’m not a lurker but i figured I’d say hi anyway :)
Not lurking! But hi! LOOVEE YOUU
My best interview?!? Was for my last job (still work for the company just a different restaurant). The manager and I talked for 45 minutes about hair and makeup. He ended up making me late for my internship!!!
Hi Kyla… I found your blog sometime last fall and it has been a staple in my bookmarks :) I enjoy your creative and quirky view of life as well as the spontaneous blog searches that come to your readership. Keep up the awesome posts.
PS I think your neighbors are crazy but your home is looking fabulous <3
I used to interview candidates for an entry-level editorial assistant position. One girl interrupted me every-other sentence. I think she wanted to prove that she knew her stuff by finishing my sentences for me or something, but it was just incredibly annoying and presumptuous. No, you don’t know what I’m about to say. Perhaps if you let me finish speaking you will be able to formulate a cogent, relevant response that demonstrates your knowledge.
Also, I was stunned at how many applicants came in wearing inappropriate attire. It’s not like they were baring their midriffs or anything, and most of what I saw would have been fine for a day at work, but an interview is not a day at work: it deserves extra attention and formality, and your attire should reflect that.
I’ve commented before, so I’m pretty sure that I don’t count as a lurker (although who knows?)
My favorite job interview question/answer is what are your strengths and weaknesses. Can someone tell me what the right answer too this question is? I feel like “sometimes I just work too hard” isn’t it…
Technically I’m not a lurker, since this is the first visit. Great blog! I’ll be checking back… I’m looking to polish my interviewing skills, so I’ll keep your tips in mind (although baby Prostitute really isn’t an issue with me).
Racquel, I usually say something about how I find it difficult to work with/be patient with people who don’t seem to be as driven as I am or who don’t do their jobs well (basically, I try to find a polite way of saying that I don’t like to work with stupid people). It seems to work.
just came from an interview yesterday, and the girl before me did at least three of those horrific things, what a mess.
Be thankful that you can laugh at those sorts of situations.
ps. Love your blog. It’s one of my faves.
Hot chocolate? I can get a hot chocolate? I’m in. Love the blog….creative….well written….humourous and amusing… :)
Hey! I gave you an award. Go here to collect it, then pass it on if you feel like it.
I’m not really delurking, but I’ll say hi anyway!
I had to interview candidates to be my teaching assistant. One lady spent the entire interview correcting me and telling me how she could do my job better than I could. Yeah. She didn’t get hired.
These are killer tips, girl. And should be obvious, but are evidently not! However, I have to echo from your first tip– DO be NICE to the receptionist. It blows my mind how some people think it makes them look “powerful” to talk down to the receptionist. In a lot of offices, the receptionist has more power than you think!
I’m delurking!
I know, i know I’m late. But still. I’m here!
I found your blog a few months ago and have commneted sporadically. =)
I am not a fan of the interview process at all!
I love your blog, congratulations on all the awards. I am not necesarily delurking but I just wanted to say hi!
hope the interview went well.
I learned that you also shouldn’t ask about their pro bono/volunteer work initiatives….b/c a lot of firms just do that to say they do it; they don’t want to hire people who are really dedicated to that sort of work. Anyway, happy Thursday!
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