There are more things that I like about the winter in the prairies than I can ever remember before the winter arrives. The rush of warmth that comes over me when I walk inside a building, talking with people at the bus stop about the weather, the smiles I get from local business owners when I need to step inside and warm up. How incredible the really cheap hot chocolate from 7-11 tastes when you’re going for a winter walk.
But my favourite thing is that on December 1st my phone starts ringing.
“IT’S HERE!! IT’S ON!!”
“What?”
“THE FIREPLACE CHANNEL IS BACK!!!”
Stop the fucking presses. The best show on TV is finally on!!
I guess that every city has its own variation of this – around the holidays some local cable channel decides that the most compelling TV it can offer is a fireplace on an endless loop. They have no idea how right they are. I wish that in the winter the fireplace was on from November to April, and then it changed over to a bonfire from April until Fall. I am uncontrollably drawn to my TV Fireplace. There is nothing I can do to avoid it.
And there are variations! The basic cable version seems vaguely 1970′s in quality, the colour of plaid is faded when the disembodied arm stirs the fire and it runs on a pretty short 12 minute loop. I timed it. The HD version is beautiful – clearly much more recently filmed in a fireplace that has been cleaned much more recently, and it runs on a longer loop. And then there’s another less secular interpretation where a Christmas tree stands in front of an arena that has been washed in changing lights, while Christmas carols play in the background.
Every Christmas, one of my good friends comes over and we bask in the glow of the pretend fireplace while we catch up. We mark the time by how often the fire is stirred (“THERE HE IS!!!” as the arm comes into frame) and wonder how old the fire stirrer’s are now. If they think about the one time they sat in a quiet room and, after 12 minutes, stirred a fire.
This winter, I’m PVRing it so I can watch it whenever I like. The winter feels much more bearable in front of a pretend fire, don’t you think?
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
Damnit…we don’t have a fireplace channel.
Hahaha this is a fabulous idea! We don’t have it where I’m from (PEI) but we do have Channel 8, which keeps playing the same four outdated community announcements over and over. It’s nowehere near as soothing, but the soft elevator versions of 1980′s classics is as close to a lullabye as basic cable gets you.
They don’t have a fireplace channel here in North Carolina either, but when I was a little girl back in New York there was a Yule Log channel. It had one log burning, and played Christmas Carols. My Grandmother insisted that that was what would be on the telly when my very large family gathered on Christmas Eve. Thanks for a synthetically warm memory!
that is….bizarre. hahaha. although, i’d probably have it on too if they played it. i’ll have to check tonight {giggles}.
That must be really nice, though I bet it doesn’t warm you up as a REAL fireplace.
Though you’ll be able to recreate winter times with hot cocoa and husband-cuddling afterwards.
LOL. In Australia we actually had ‘fishcam’ which was just fish in a tank. They even released a dvd! I would loveee a real fireplace. Dreamy.
My friend in college had the fireplace thing on DVD! It actually does make the room feel a little warmer.
We recently moved our TV to our mantle, so we can have a double fireplace effect in our living room :D
I like watching it and waiting for the arm to move in to the screen and poke the logs!
The fireplace channel is amazing! The Boy and I used to sit on the couch and watch it while we chatted last year at this time. A friend had mentioned that all of her years growing up and living in Edmonton she had never seen anyone, so we kept an eye out for the illusive arm. Like you, we kept an eye on the different plaid the fire-poking guy was donning each time.
I have no idea what channel the fireplace channel is this year. It’s very sad.
Hmm…I’ve never heard of this. I’m going to have to go home tonight and slowly scroll through the channels!
I’m always amused when you say PVR. We DVR things in America. I like PVR better.
:) I love that you love the fireplace channel so much! I might be more apt to get excited about it if it actually gave off heat! xxo
ha, my mom LOVES that channel. it reminds her of her childhood, i think – it wasn’t on around us for years, and she got so bizarrely excited the year she found out we could watch the yule log on xmas morning again :-)
No fire here! But I do think there is a website with similar services…I shall have to check!
I’m pretty sure you can get the version you are talking about on dvd – my friends had it on at there place last year. Maybe it was on TV here too? (In Calgary). We don’t have a TV so I will have to ask him. Of course, the reason we don’t have a TV is because you are right – that would be the best show out there right now.
I have one thing better than the fake fireplace channel. I have the fake electric fireplace. Yes, that’s right. Complete with fake electric flame. Fake blower. And fake hot air. We tried it for the first (and last) time last night. Awful.
I
LOVE
THE
HAND!
I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE IT!!!
I have only seen that once before and I think it’s pretty awesome. We don’t have that here in the states currently so far as I know! I should demand it. I wish I had a real fireplace. Fortunately for me, TDH does and he makes us fires on a regular basis.
i don’t think we get that show here… but i wish we did. it would be so nice and cozy!
Oh my gosh! I need to find this channel! I would loooove to have a continual blaze. As it is, I stole, er, borrowed a massive picture of a bonfire to sit on my windowsill so my office feels less chilly!
I have never heard of a fireplace channel but it sounds amazing. Sitting in front of a fire with a hot cocoa is one of my favorite things to do in the winter.
I don’t think we have a fireplace channel here and knowing that there is a fireplace channel somewhere out there makes me sad. :(
Yet another thing the Canadians do better than us Americans. I know of no fireplace channel in Michigan…and I want one!
The Yule Log broadcast was a tradition started in the 70′s in New York City by WPIX, channel 11. It was intended for apartment-dwellers who didn’t have real fireplaces, and was filmed at Gracie Mansion. But the original was only a 7-second loop, so they eventually filmed a new one, and showed it every year from Christmas Eve until Christmas morning. My grandfather watched all of it, hypnotized.
But then WPIX eventually realized they made more money by showing television shows with commercials, and stopped the tradition. But thanks to public interest, the Yule log has been back for a couple of years, but only for two hours on Christmas morning. I wish I lived where you are so I could see it any time of day.
Absolutely! It’s just not winter without a fire! I’m going to have to check to see if our cable system does this. It would certainly make for a cheaper gas bill if I was using the TV as opposed to the gas fireplace. :)
I’ve seen the DVD versions of the fireplace, but I didn’t know there are actual channels that stay on fireplace mode all season long!! I’ve been missing out!
My favorite part of christmas is going to my parents house and sitting by the wood fire in the living room. I hate the new ‘flick a switch’ gas fireplaces.
The fireplace channel is just as good as the sound effects site I use to fall asleep at night. You can pick from “library lullaby” or “airplane aria” or “hairdryer harmony” and all these other ones and you get a little video show to go along with it. My favourite is the close up on the plane food, haha. Almost as good as the real thing! I still think they should have a summer equivalent. Like the Ocean View channel or something, with random hand grabbing a nice cold drink. lol :)
Ha! I hadn’t heard of the fireplace channel – we have the fireplace DVD round these parts and it’s always fun to watch. I love that you’re DVRing it. Very cute.
I love hot chocolate too. I had the best at a independent restaurant the other day, all warm and chocolatey and foamy. Yum.
I have never heard of this phenomenon. But I wish Kansas would participate.
“Chestnuts roasting on a TV fire….”
Okay now I cannot wait to get home this evening just so that I can see if we have this channel! I used to have a screensaver on my old imac that was a fireplace. It was nice to have while in the college dorms since we obviously didn’t have a real one.
That’s freakin awesome!
p.s. I must look into finding my very own fireplace in a TV! With my own plaid hand! ha.
Our favorite bar plays the fireplace channel on two separate TVs. It cracks me the hell up. I always insist we sit by the fire because I’m cold.
i’ve only seen a channel do that actually on christmas and it’s awesome. i will definitely dvr it this year, haha.
Shut the front door, the fireplace channel is back? I love that channel! We have it in HD and we stare at it like it’s an action movie.
wait! i don’t have a fireplace channel!! ive been robbed.
seriously we do not have a fireplace channel and I think that it would be the best thing ever. I am so jealous!
That’s Amazing. I haven’t found the fireplace channel yet, but I’m determined to find one. And if I can’t, I’ll start my own.
A fireplace channel?! Genius!! Seeing as how our future home is lacking a fireplace, I NEED THIS.